


Bearing Witness

by MizUndahStood



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, IDW Graphic Novels, STID - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Trek Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Doctor/Patient, Erotica, F/M, Female Character of Color, Friendship/Love, Holodecks/Holosuites, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Music, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-Canon use of Technology, Not Beta Read, Original Artwork Featured, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-02-08 02:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 29,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1923204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUndahStood/pseuds/MizUndahStood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Ananda Greydon is a professional and brilliant woman.  She's smart and compassionate as she is lovely. </p><p>Half human, half Betazoid. Her silhouette could be described as imposing: A tall woman by any standard, she stands 180 cm in ordinary shoes. Her figure a series of well placed curves and planes, she's sturdy and sleek.</p><p>During the course of her current assignment, she uncovers some disturbing information while focusing on its main subject: Khan Noonien Singh. Known to legitimate entities in Starfleet as Commander John Harrison. </p><p>The implications of her findings may change how she views her subject and, perhaps her own life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cover Art: "Bearing Witness"

  
[ ](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20December/A226FA6C-7220-4A4E-984C-6A4FE60E5C72_zps6xrq2sjl.jpg.html)


	2. Shall We Begin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan eyes Betazoid investigator before him with suspicion and utter contempt.
> 
> "She must know, that were it my whim, I could snap her like a twig. Yet, she sits confident that her day will proceed as expected." He muses.
> 
> His eyes narrow, and he puffs his chest like a predatory animal poised to strike. Undeterred by Khan's posturing, the investigator removes her shoes and pulls her legs into lotus position. 
> 
> "Are we done asserting our dominance Commander Harrison? Shall we proceed?" asks Commander Greydon, as she prepares to interview the temperamental, choleric man as he paces menacingly around the glass enclosure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “By learning to bear witness to our own pain and responding with kindness and understanding, rather than greeting difficult emotions by fighting hard against them, we open ourselves up to genuine healing and a new experience of living; this is self-compassion.” 
> 
> ~ Jennifer Chrisman, Tiny Buddha

"Good Morning Commander." says the Betazoid in a warm, relaxed tone. "My name is Ananda Greydon, I'll be debriefing you to prepare a monograph of recent incidents. While I am an officer of Starfleet, my findings are objective and seek only to gather the perspectives of principal parties. Well then, shall we..." 

Khan eyes Betazoid with suspicion and utter contempt. 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/FBA00FCF-126D-47A5-BF12-CF5ED39A6972_zpssbtczu4n.jpg.html)

" _How dare she?_ " he thinks to himself.   
"This is my personal space, such as it is. _This woman_ \- this alleged impartial finder of fact is in my space, wearing a sari? I _will_ teach her how disrespectful it is to appropriate the native dress of another culture in an attempt to create a false sense of simpatico.” he contiues his silent rant while he paces slowly in front of Ananda. 

"Something about her seems... Could she _possibly_ be?...  " His nose crinkles and he cants his head as he tries to gain a sense of this woman. "Clearly, something other than human" he reasons to himself.

"She must know, that were it my whim, I could snap her like a twig. But no precautions for her safety have been taken. Yet, she sits confident that her day will proceed as expected."

His eyes narrow, and he puffs his chest like a predatory animal poised to strike. Undeterred by Khan's posturing, the investigator removes her shoes and pulls her legs into lotus position. 

"Are we done asserting our dominance Commander Harrison? Shall we proceed?" 

"Who are you? _WHAT. ARE. YOU_?!" he bellows.  
His face is inches away from hers now, and she holds his gaze with a steadfast calm that irritates Khan to his core. Sensing this, he lowers his voice to a rumble that rattles the enclosure.

 

"Is it your contention, Commander Greydon that you are mere a repository of fact?" Khan posits, with characteristic aggression.

"Yes, Command..." before she can finish speaking his hand clutches her throat.  A gestural emblem, certainly - albeit a deadly serious one.

"A proper recitation of facts should be accurate. Am I not correct _COMMANDER_ Greydon? She nods and grabs his wrist. 

"We shall begin with a basic fact: My name... is... _**KHAN**!!_ " 

“Quite understood, Commander. Perhaps I should address you as  _Mr. Singh_?” she shrugs.

"I am not sure if you are seeking to irritate, or rather enjoy being ignorant. Here, nor there... My patience has come to its end _Ms._ Greydon"

"Yes, I see it has..." Coughing as she removes his hand from her throat, she then gracefully folds her hands in her lap. His icy blue eyes stare down at her, but she remains serene as he is choleric.

"Khan, can you please tell me how you came to meet Dr Heisen, the scientist responsible for your enhanced abilities?" She speaks in a hushed purposeful tone.

" _Scientist!!_ Is that what your kind calls him?!" he bellows.

"My... _kind_? Please explain." she deflects his salvo.

"The servile minions, and sycophants of _STARFLEET!!"_ he roars _._

 

"In the interest of brevity, I will defer to your prefered nomenclature.   _How would you refer to him?_ His title, function or role?

"He was a _monster_ who preyed on the disadvantaged. Those who could be disappeared without recompense." Khan begins haltingly, but rapidly develops a gravelly staccato as he continues:  
"In November 1971, he removed me along with several others from the streets of New Delhi by force, gassing us and throwing us into black body bags like garbage. I am sure he might have considered it a sort of rescue." 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/E10A6C44-9FFC-46DD-8D44-198531FD841B_zpspm1fbhpr.jpg.html)

The deep thrumming of Khan's voice strikes a chord with the Betazoid investigator. Through even his most grandiose eruptions of rage, his sincerity is compelling.

 

With great intensity, Khan continues to recount the narrative of his early life including: removing the implant chip himself, fleeing from Dr Heisen's academy, and creating a secret cabal of his fellows. His story of the augments seamlessly infiltrating every governing body on the planet Earth is terrifying as it is cautionary. 

 

"Khan, please tell me about 1992.261" she requests thoughtfully. 

"That was the day we changed the world." his simple reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the pics used will be from the IDW graphic novel series "Khan", I do not own the pictures, nor did I create them. 
> 
> [SPOILERS]The Betazoid is also an augment.  
> Created as an offset to the hubris and choleric temperament of the original augments, a handful of Betazoids were part of a secret experiment by Admiral Marcus to create a new generation of Super Human augments. Completely headcanon.
> 
> *From a qoute by John Updike:  
> “Suddenly summoned to witness something great and horrendous, we keep fighting not to reduce it to our own smallness.”
> 
> Meet Ananda:  
>    
> [](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20July/CC3FB27C-16FA-4F5A-98CC-F7447B327F3D_zpsf1un0lkf.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
> not beta'd (pun intended...)  
>   


	3. Butterfly Trapped in a Spider's Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a protracted journey to Memory Alpha, Commander Greydon has returned to Starfleet Academy.  
> She is deeply troubled by what she's learned on her quest, and seeks the comfort and advice of a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Women's propensity to share confidences is universal. We confirm our reality by sharing"  
> Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

After a protracted journey to Memory Alpha, Commander Greydon has returned to Starfleet Academy.

She is deeply troubled by what she's learned on her quest, and seeks the comfort and advice of a friend.

" _Nanda_! Glad to have you back." says Nyota, brightly.

"Thank you. I'm... Um, glad to see you too" Ananda sighs.

The women greet each other warmly, but Nyota notices how tired her friend seems. Ananda's carriage seemed unusually pensive. A head full of newfound information is weighing heavily upon her, and she's not had anyone to confide in for weeks.

The two amble about campus and catch up on the events of the past months. They settle on a quiet spot overlooking the bay to sit as Commander Greydon unburdens herself.

"Oh Nanda! Nooo! _No-no-no!_ " She covers her mouth with her hands, and her eyes well with tears of empathy.  
" _What are you going to **do**?_ I can't... I mean, how can I help? Is there anything I can do?" She looks into the eyes of her troubled friend with great tenderness and concern.

"What else can I do? I have to tell him. His first instinct will be to pulverise me with his bare hands, but he has a right to know what's been done, Ny. Khan needs to be made aware of how dire this situation is, and what's to follow. If either of us has any chance of surviving this scenario, choices must be made. Khan and I are embroiled in something I'd not wish on anyone. Just knowing that my fate has been predetermined by the whim of one psychotic madman by being involuntarily linked to another is burdonsome. It's almost too much to comprehend."

"Just being able to share this with you is a great start. _Thank you for being here_  for me and allowing me to share. The last few weeks have been extraordinarily lonely. I've missed our talks, Nyota." 

"I'm leaving soon on a five year mission into deep space, Ananda. What if you requested an assignment on The Enterprise as ship's Counselor? You could leave this behind. There _must_ be a way to stop this happening." Nyota wants to soothe her friend, but feels powerless under the weight of her revelation. 

"I've taken your suggestion to heart. And appreciate your concern. But, the truth of my situation is simple - it cannot be changed.  Regrettably, the event horizon has already been reached and we are hurtling toward apogee." Ananda shrugs wearily, and sighs.

Admiral Marcus left behind a more toxic legacy than _anyone_ could ever have imagined. A posting on The Enterprise would be wonderful but, I've never been one to shy away from difficulty. _Not even my own..._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but here's the beginning of the rest of the story. A short chapter to get back into the narrative.
> 
> Commander Greydon has been researching Khan's story, and found some interesting and troubling facts about herself. Her fate has been linked to Khan by Admiral Marcus as part of his work at Section 31. 
> 
> She seeks a familiar presence upon her return, only to find her friend will be shipping out soon.


	4. Where the Light Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her unsatisfying Holosuite experience, Ananda seeks the counsel of her mentor and personal physician, Dr. Kay Sollodovski. The two are women are quite similar in temperament, and find it easy to confide in one another:
> 
> "I feel like my whole life is a lie, Kay. All my life, the only thing I could really count on was that I know who I am, and felt comfortable being different. Now, I don't know if that's really who I am, or if I'm a figment of someone's twisted imagination." Ananda confides, her voice full of doubt and fear.

Commander Greydon sits in her office poring over her notes, and decides to take a break. Ananda scrolls through her appointment schedule for the day and is relieved at finding a light work load. Trying of make sense of her current predicament has brought up feelings unfamiliar to her - rage, fear, and powerlessness.

After clearing her calendar, Ananda decides to take some time for herself in a Holosuite.

When she arrives, she stops at the arch to insert her memory cube. A beautiful traditional Japanese house, Zen Garden and pond, materialize before her eyes.

  


 

She removes her shoes, and walks solemnly along a stone path until she reaches a smooth flat rock near the water's edge. Ananda spreads out a tatami mat and dangles her feet in the water. She pulls her legs into lotus and takes several cleansing breaths as she allows the gentle trickle of water rushing past lull her into meditation. With her eyes closed, she visualizes several calm, peaceful images: A beautiful purple butterfly in flight. Moonrise over the San Francisco Bay. Her cat Be-Bop, asleep curled up on her lap as she gently strokes behind her ears.  
   Ananda smiles as she purses her lips to exhale. When she inhales, the images drifting through her mind become unfamiliar. She has visions of herself comforting a fussy infant in its crib. A hand smoothes up and down her arm. Fingers gently caress her cheek. She nuzzles the fingers, and instinctively leans back, enfolded by two strong, lithe arms. A rich and familiar voice speaks her name. It's _Khan_.

Ananda's breath catches in her throat. She pulls up her legs, buries her face into her knees, her body wracked with sobs. " _ **NO**_! _Please!..._ no..." She rocks herself and wails. She screams angry curses at Admiral Marcus. At Khan. And, _herself_.  
Feeling she has no tears left, she dries her eyes with the heels of her hands and sits stock still as she collects herself. Staring blankly at the scenery around her, she brings herself to her feet and heads for the Holosuite arch. Once at the doorway, she angrily rips the memory cube from the computer flings it across the Holosuite, and growls beneath her breath as she leaves.

After her unsatisfying Holosuite experience, Ananda seeks the counsel of her mentor and personal physician, Dr. Kay Sollodowski. The two are women are quite similar in temperament, and find it easy to confide in one another.

"Have a seat, Commander." The doctor says, offering a chair to her friend.  
"Thanks for seeing me. _Permission to speak freely_?" Ananda asks.

"Of course. _What's on your mind_ , Nanda?" Kay asks, leaning forward on her desk.

"I don't know how much you know about my recent work, but I..." Ananda speaks haltingly, parsing her words as she tries to collect her thoughts.

"Save the minutiae for another time, Ananda. What's the upshot here? I can tell something pretty big is gnawing away at you. Whatever it is, I'm here for you, but I can't help you if you won't trust me enough to tell me what you need." Never one to mince words - Kay cut through Ananda's emotional haze and gave her the opening she needed to reveal the complexity of her situation in its entirety.

"I'd been assigned by Admiral Barnett to lead a comprehensive investigation into the incidents at the Kelvin Archive and Daystrom Conference Room for the trial board prosecuting Khan Noonien Singh. I... _um..._ " She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, tightly gripping the arms of her chair as she continues.

"Seems Admiral Marcus had a much larger agenda than _anyone_ _else_ had previously disclosed. He planned to continue the eugenics experiments that created John Harrison. By his reckoning, he could offset Harrison's temperament in future generations of augments by breeding him to a mate that would equal him in intellect, but blunt his choleric disposition."

With great concern, Kay watches her friend struggle as she recounts details of her current assignment. " _Broad strokes_ , Ananda. You're holding on too tight. Are you afraid of something you've uncovered?" Her face becomes ashen as she realizes the gravity of what she's just heard. " _Are you in danger_?"

Ananda screws her eyes shut and blurts out a reply. "I've been groomed to be the initial subject in the Admiral's experiment!!"

" _Oh..._ my..." The doctor gasps, and her jaw goes slack. She slumps in her chair, momentarily rendered mute.

Ananda continues "Broad strokes, right?"

The doctor nods.

"I feel like my whole life is a lie. I never knew that I'm an augment. _All my life_ , the only thing I could really count on was that I know who I am, and felt comfortable being different. I'd always been proud of being smart and strong. It's kept me from feeling like an outsider. Now, I don't know if that's who I am, or if I'm a figment of someone's twisted imagination." Ananda says to her friend, her voice full of doubt and fear.

" _Stop_. Just... No! You are one of the kindest, smartest women I know. _It's all you._ Always has been. I know what you're thinking. I refuse to allow you compare yourself to a mad man's science project gone wrong. You are one of the finest officers I've ever worked with, Ananda. Your abilities and your inner strength are not _imagined_." Kay tries to soothe her friend with kind words, but feels she's falling short. She's suddenly inspired to reach Ananda by making her proactive in her own solution. "Tell me what _you_ _need_. How can we put our heads together?"

"I think you should give me a complete work up, and scan me for a neural inhibitor. From what I understand, if you find one, I must mate myself to Khan. If I don't combine our DNA, the implant would cause me to begin premature peri menopause and age me about thirty years. Also, if I don't allow this to happen, the cryotubes that contain Khan's crew will be destroyed. One more huge linch pin?"

"Yeah, sure..." Kay is overwhelmed by the enormity of what she's heard, and shakes her head ruefully.

"Combining biological materials on a lab bench will set events into motion that will cause me to become sterile. I have to do this the old fashioned way." Ananda folds her arms across her chest, her features clouded with rage.

"Let's start with a simple scan right here." The doctor opens a desk drawer and removes her Tricorder. She walks around her desk to perform the scan, and comfort her friend.  
" _Ananda_?" she begins. "I _cannot imagine_ what you're feeling, so we won't pretend that I can. We are women, we are colleagues, but most of all... _we're_ _friends_. It is my privilege to help you through this. Dean and I will be here with you every step of the way - if you'll let us. We're proud, stubborn folks, you and I. Please accept my offer to walk you through this. You've got some tough days ahead." Kay reaches for her friend's hand. Ananda accepts it, and clasps it to her bosom.

" _Thank you_ , Kay." Ananda lowers her head, and sighs.

Kay raises Ananda's chin and looks directly into her eyes. "Hey?... We're gonna get you through this.  _Alright!?_ " The doctor nods, in affirmation.

"I have no idea how this is gonna go, but knowing you've got my back means a lot. Let's do the Tricorder reading for our first data point, and go from there."  Ananda feels relieved, taking comfort in Kay's assurance and support.

Kay begins her readings, secretly hoping she'll find nothing amiss.

 

 

ƸӜƷ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. 
> 
> Not sure how to craft this tale, but I know what the outcome will be. 
> 
> Stick with me. Comments & Suggestions gratefully accepted.
> 
> RPF is easy, Star Trek? Not so much. But, figuring it out as I go is fun.
> 
> Not Beta'd. ::shrugs, sighs::


	5. A Moment To Deliberate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ananda picks up a sweating glass of pure Kentucky Bourbon and upends it.
> 
> She dispatches the drink in three gulps, leaving only a spinning sphere of ice swirling around in her empty glass.

Ananda takes a walk along the Embarcadero at dusk and finds herself in the art gallery of Kent Mackey, wistfully taking in the shapes and colors of his beautiful and expressive art.

She turns a corner and finds a pleasing and familiar image - her lovely feline companion Be-Bop. She smiles broadly and begins to giggle. She takes a step backward to get a better view and bumps into a patron looking at a picture opposite her beloved feline.

 

"Oh! I am so..." She begins her apology before recognizing her friend Kent.  
"Kent! I didn't know you were gonna be here! So good to see you!" Ananda beams as she moves in for a hug. Kent returns her hug quite warmly, and pecks both of her cheeks.

"How are you kiddo?" He asks, smoothing his hands up and down her back. "Someone's kinda tense, huh?" He intuits.

"Yeah, just a little. Can we go for a drink? Might be the last I have for a long while" Ananda smiles with her mouth, but her eyes look weary -negating the intent of her affect display in its entirety.

"That sounds ominous. I've gotta lock up, then we'll head over to our favorite place." Kent begins shutting down the gallery and turns to look at Ananda, still admiring his painting. She reaches out to touch the nose of the cat in the painting, cooing and speaking gibberish, as if to a small child. "Wook at the kit-teh! Your widdle wiskers are so cute!"

When he returns he walks up behind Ananda and places his chin on her shoulder. "Ready to go kiddo?" She leans her head against his and nods. The pair amble casually, chatting as they go. When they arrive at their fave hangout, they scan the room for a quiet spot. Having decided on a table overlooking the bay, they slide into a banquette and wait for a server.

"You painted Be-Bop! Can you make a print for me?" She asks.  
"Sure, Ananda." says Kent, quite amiably.

"Tell me something kiddo... Now that you've had that neuro-thingy removed - what's next? A conjugal with Mr Happy Pants? I mean, how's that gonna work for you?"

"Something pretty close. I've gotta decide how clinical this is going to be. Or, not."

Before Kent can object, a server arrives to take their order. He drums his fingers on the table impatiently, champing at the bit to continue their conversation. Order recorded and transmitted, the server takes her leave. Kent turns toward Ananda and asks "You aren't really considering anything resembling romance, are you? Is that even possible with this guy? I don't envy you right now, kiddo. Not. At. All."

"I've gone all the way back to the 20th century for help processing this. Some very cogent information by a woman named Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has been a great help. She wrote about stages of grief. Unfortunately, I don't have time for all five stages. I'm hovering around the edge of acceptance. No other path. No other way..."

♪No day but todaaaay♪ They both warble in harmony.  
"Ahhh! Thank goodness for the musicals of the twenty first century!" Ananda sighs.

"If you're singing songs from old movies, things must be dire. Do you have a plan?"

"Tomorrow I screw my courage to the sticking place and tell him what I know. I expect he'll stalk around and rage. Then he'll think of his crew. That's my saving grace. There are seventy-five lives at stake, Kent. If he doesn't go along with this, he and his crew will be used for medical research, and..."

Their drink order and warm appetizers arrive, much to Ananda's relief. She picks up her drink - a sweating glass of pure Kentucky Bourbon, upending it. She dispatches the drink in three gulps, leaving only a sphere of ice spinning around her empty glass.

"NANDA! Take it easy! This is gonna be a very short evening if you go on like that.  
"Too late. Boy, wish I could have that one back." She puffs her cheeks, and shakes her head.

"Sorry. I'll be right back." She leaps to her feet and moves quickly to locate the ladies room.

Once inside, she flings open the door of a stall, and places both hands on her knees. Her stomach churns and roils, but everything stays down, much to her consternation. "Fuckin' dry heaves" she mutters.

Ananda decides to make use of the lavatory to splash her face with cold water. She raises her head, glances at her reflection, and begins to weep. A sudden wave of anger washes over her. She clenches one of her hands into a fist and wails as she draws back, swinging at full force toward the mirror.

Before she makes contact she pulls back, and doubles over. A sudden surge of nausea overtakes her, sending her scurrying for the nearest stall. She falls to her knees and grabs the cool porcelain as she retches and gags. A kind soft pair of hands reaches down to pull her hair back. It's Kay.

"Kay, is that you?" Ananda asks between spasms.  
"Yes, sweetie. I'm here. You done?" the doctor gently inquires.

Ananda's spasms slow, and Kay helps her to her feet. She sweetly wipes Ananda's face with a damp cloth napkin. The doctor then holds her friend's face in her hands and says "C'mon. Let's get you home." Ananda nods as the two women make for the door.

Waiting for them outside is Kent, looking quite concerned about his dear friend. Kay stops to thank him. "Good lookin' out Mack. Have you had dinner yet?" He shakes his head.

"Can I go home now?" Ananda slurs, head spinning.  
"You feeding me? You're such a lightweight, Nanda." Kent chuckles, as he rubs between her shoulders.

"Call me when you get home." Kay requests.  
Kay pulls Kent aside and whispers as she politely implores him to warm some clear broth for Ananda, and set an alarm for her. Both Kay and Mack want Ananda clear headed for her morning meeting. It promises to be one of the most challenging days of her life.

ooo~O~ooo

The next morning, Ananda awakens less than refreshed, but goes about her typical daily routine. 

Clad in black to mirror the mode of dress of her first appointment of the day, she covers her outfit with a cocoon jacket fashioned in regulation Starfleet blue.

When she arrives at her office, she notices two security officers posted outside her office door.

"Good morning, Commander." says the senior of the two. Ananda nods and breezes into her office. She removes the cocoon, and drapes it casually over a chair near her desk. She returns to her desk, and buzzes through to the outer office.

"Is he here yet?"  
"ETA five minutes, Ma'am." replies the cadet at the reception console.

"Very good. Please notify me when you have a visual."  
"Yes Ma'am."

And so, she sits and waits. But, not patiently. Ananda decides to clear her head, and makes use of her time by centering herself with a moment of brief meditation. She closes her eyes, and inhales deeply. As she exhales, she leans forward to stretch. When she releases her muscles, she feels the tension flow away from her, leaving her calm but alert.

Ananda hears a kerfuffle of some sort just outside her office door.

The door to her office slides open unceremoniously, and the two guards posted outside burst through, stationing themselves on either side of the doorway. Immediately behind them stands Khan. He forces his way inside, bound in Enolian handcuffs. The senior of the two hands Ananda a remote for the cuffs, and resumes his post.

Ananda stares at the remote, and flings it across her desk.

"Please remove those." She gestures at the electronic manacles.

"Not advisable, Ma'am."

"Understood, Sergeant. I take full responsibility. Remove the cuffs, NOW... please."

"Yes Ma'am. Right away." The sergeant moves to release Khan's hands very gingerly as his subordinate takes a defensive stance, phaser at the ready.

Once released, Khan rubs his wrists, and stares blankly at Ananda. He cants his head, and furrows his brow before speaking.

"What is the meaning of this, Commander Greydon?" He asks, with genuine curiosity.

"Gentlemen, give us the room." The security officers glance at one another, unsure what action to take.

"I understand you have orders to secure my person. You may do so on the other side of my office door. You do not have clearance to be privy to this conversation." Ananda informs her guards.

"Gentlemen, please..." she gestures toward the door.

"We'll be just outside Ma'am."

"Thank you. Sergeant" she replies.

Khan spins around to watch the two men take their leave, and turns back to Ananda, quite puzzled.

"Please have a seat, Khan" Ananda offers.

"I will remain standing, Commander. If it's all the same to you." he rumbles.

"Very well. Your choice..." she shrugs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU to my very good friend Kenneth J. MacSween for allowing me to use his art in my work. @}}~~}~~
> 
>  
> 
> The picture of "BeBop" has been futzed a little, and is actually his beloved kitteh Moose.
> 
>  
> 
> (Not Beta'd - Will fix the text later...)


	6. Transcendent Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no more obstacles in their minds,  
> And, because there are no more obstacles in their minds...  
> They can overcome all fear -  
> Destroying wrong perceptions  
> They may realize their ultimate goal.
> 
> Heart Sutra for Ananda & Khan

“Once we appreciate that fundamental disparity between appearance and reality, we gain a certain insight into the way our emotions work, and how we react to events and objects.”

~His Holiness The Dalai Lama

 

Khan paces back and forth anxiously as he listens to Ananda's explanation of their mutual dilemma.

He stops for a moment to process what she's said, and appears to be visibly shaken.

 

"Do you mean to tell me by dint of the Admiral's machinations - we've been forcibly  _pair bonded_?" Khan asks.

"Yes. And Admiral Marcus left a great many trap doors in his repugnant scheme. If we refuse to do this, it's the end of us both."

Khan stops pacing in front of Ananda's desk and hunches over, leaning over his flattened palms with his slender fingers splayed out over the cool surface.

He contracts one of his hands into a fist, raises it above his shoulder and slams it into Ananda's desk. He strikes with such terrific force that his blow cracks the desktop. The resulting clatter attracts the attention of the security officers stationed outside. 

Instantly, the office door whooshes open.

The security detail rushes in, phasers drawn. "Everything okay in here, Ma'am?" asks Sergeant Daniels.

Ananda steps between the sergeant and Khan. "Please stand down, Sergeant Daniels. There's nothing to concern yourself with here." she calmly requests.

"Ma'am?" he shrugs.

"Please return to your post - _outside_ my office door." She bellows, in a rumbly contralto.

Both Sergeant Daniels and his cohort, Officer Ramirez holster their weapons, and leave Ananda's office.

She turns toward Khan as she says "I hope there won't be anymore interruptions."

Khan narrows his eyes and cants his head.

 

"This is quite a conundrum. My vote? We find a way to make this work. There's simply too much at stake." Ananda firmly asserts.

Khan closes his eyes, and shakes his head.

Her face brightens as she says - "I've got and idea, Khan."

He continues to stand in front of her desk, and she moves toward him gingerly, as he lightly traces the crack caused by his outburst.

Ananda gently tugs on one of his sleeves in an attempt to coax into him to following her. "C'mon. Let's find a quiet place to talk."

Khan reflexively recoils from her touch. He then adopts a power stance, and glowers at Ananda all the while.

In a somewhat feline manner, she gracefully circles around him. Momentarily emboldened, she taunts him with a grin as she returns his steely gaze. "I am not afraid of you, Noonien. Not in the least."

He parts his lips to speak, but finds he cannot form the words.

 

"Speechless, are you? _Good_. The aggressive posturing and choleric affect displays end _NOW_! We don't have time to indulge your dissonance."

 

She's standing toe to toe with him now. Feeling secure as she stands in Khan's personal space, she issues a direct challenge. "To coin a phrase from your time... _Get your shit together_ , Noonien."

He takes a step back and quirks a half smile. " _Mmm_... There's a fire raging just beneath that o _hhh_ _so sedate_ exterior of yours. Isn't there? _Ananda_." He mutters, in a smooth, rich baritone. Khan takes great delight in enunciating each syllable of her name deliberately, almost _seductively_.

"I. Like. That." He bellows.

He grabs her wrist and pulls her close. Their eyes meet, and they stare fixedly and intently into the eyes of the other.

Ananda gasps softly, and her chin quivers slightly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prajnaparamita- (Sanskrit: प्रज्ञापारमिता) means "the Perfection of (Transcendent) Wisdom" in Mahāyāna Buddhism.  
>  _"Transcendent Wisdom" _seemed a much less pretentious chapter title than “Prajnaparamita”.__
> 
> The "Heart Sutra" was paraphrased from an english translation: http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/heartsutra.html  
> ƸӜƷ


	7. Stairs of The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ♪Don't be afraid to be weak♪  
> ♪Don't be too proud to be strong♪  
> ♪Just look into your heart, my friend♪  
> ♪That will be the return to yourself♪
> 
> Enigma - Return To Innocence 
> 
>  

Khan continues to hold Ananda by her wrist, loosening his grip. Free to reclaim her limb, she chooses to remain in his grasp.

The stare down lessens in angst, but takes on a dimension neither can quantify.

"Let's hear your brilliant idea, Ananda Greydon..." Khan rumbles.  
"Sure. But I'd much prefer we have this conversation elsewhere."

Khan releases her arm, and places it by her side. "As you wish, Commander..."

"I... Um, thanks." she stammers.

Ananda moves to the back of her desk and flops into her chair. She leans forward to use the intercom to buzz the cadet stationed at reception. A bright electronic chirp alerts her to begin her request. 

"How may I help you Commander?" asks the cadet.

"Please dismiss the security detail. I'm on my way to the MedBay with my client, and won't have need of an escort." Ananda announces.

"Yes Ma'am. Oh... Wha? Okay..." There's mumbling in the background and the intercom clicks off abruptly. The office door opens and Sergeant Daniels stomps through.

"Ma'am, I have to ask you not to transport our prisoner without an escort. We're not sure it's safe to roam around the corridors with this one." Daniels gestures toward Khan.

"I understand your predicament Sergeant. I will notify your chain of command that I have requested this action, and fully acknowledge that it indeed conflicts with your standing orders." Communicator in hand, Ananda sends a secure text message to the Security Chief.

Her communicator trills and she looks down at the screen. She smiles lightly before thoughtfully showing the message to Daniels.

EYES ONLY: Sgt Daniels/Ofcr Ramirez  
Permission to Stand Down  
Return immediately to security office for debrief  
Confirm on secure com  
Cpt Cready

Daniels looks up from the small screen before him and nods. He places the device on her desk, lowers his head and shrugs. Before speaking, he snaps to attention.

"Message received and understood, Ma'am"  
"Permission to be excused, Ma'am."

"Permission granted, Sergeant."

Daniels' face is full of concern, and he makes one more attempt to offer his protection.  
"Please let us escort you to MedBay, Ma'am..."

Ananda shakes her head as she steps toward the Sergeant to extend her hand to him. Speaking somewhat casually, she assures him his presence is no longer required.

"Thank you for your diligence today, Sergeant Daniels. You and Officer Ramirez will find appropriate acknowledgements placed in your file for your commendable service." 

He extends his hand in response. After the two exchange a firm, web to web handshake, the sergeant takes two steps back, turns smartly, and leaves the office. Having taken in the entire interaction, Khan looks at Ananda with curiosity, and a newfound respect. 

_Formidable. The spirit of a warrior hidden away in Counselor's clothing. Such a waste. Shame... _Khan muses as he furrows his brow.__

He tracks Ananda's every movement, while remaining stock still. She returns to her chair to make a few furtive keystrokes at her computer. Her intercom clicks, she closes her eyes, and exhales. 

When she opens them, she notices Khan carefully observing her.

[ ](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/1903961B-D41E-401D-A42F-3BBCB894916F_zpsatm5cjcx.jpg.html)

 

"If you don't feel safe, Ananda - you can recall the security detail..." He tilts his chin downward as he speaks, causing his voice to reverberate intensely.

Unfazed by his affect display, Ananda pulls a face and shrugs as she continues gathering her belongings. 

"Are we off to 'Someplace else' Ananda?" Khan chuckles, mirthlessly.

"Yes. Holosuite number nine. Starfleet allows its use for counseling work. I misplaced my memory cube, and nine has some of my favorite places and scenarios pre-programmed into its memory" she explains. Before they make their way to the nearest turbolift, Ananda pauses at her bookshelf. 

She carefully scans the spine with her PADD, and waits for it to trill. Assured of having capturing the tome, the pair set out for the Holosuite

At the archway of Holosuite #9, Ananda identifies herself with a thumbscan, and proceeds through with Khan.

Once inside, a quick series of keystrokes produce a magnificent vista - a view of the Milky Way at night from inside a firelit cave in Utah. 

Pleased with her selection, she traverses the cave to an outcropping of rock. She searches for a flat section suitable for sitting, and beckons Khan to join her. 

He sprints gracefully across the cave floor, arriving quickly at Ananda's side. He runs his slender fingers through his tousled mane as he stands before her, chest heaving slightly.

Their eyes meet, and she smiles, politely offering a place to sit: "Come join me, Noonien." 

She reaches into her boot to remove a small silvery square. The object crinkles noisily as she unfolds it. Completely unfurled, she spreads a mylar blanket before her, and takes a seat. She tucks a leg beneath her, and Khan slowly lowers himself beside her on the filmy blanket. 

"Welcome to the Utah desert, Noonien. This is one of my favorite places." In a showy gesture, she sweeps an arm as if she's presenting the desert to Khan personally.

  
[ ](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/A62CBCBD-1598-4342-B2E7-6D6114D0A217_zpsvhedrvho.jpg.html)

 

 

"I've found that I can always clear my head here. The desert floor is finite, but the stars seem to go on almost without end. I miss being out there where the dreamers are." she sighs

"There are worlds being discovered, but I'm earthbound, here at HQ." Ananda's words resonate with Khan.

 

Loathe to admit it, a part of his being has begun to re-awaken. Ananda's intensity and passion seem oddly palpable to him. "Clever, and curious. Fierce, but... No! This cannot not be. It's all part of a subtle manipulation. Isn't it?"

In his head, Khan tries desperately to make sense of his burgeoning feelings.

"I can sense that you're trying to process this, Noonien. Since we find ourselves at the mercy of certain exigencies, the traditional niceties of "Boy meets Girl" don't apply to us. But, here we are. Doubt and regret have no place in our equation. There simply isn't time."

He nods silently, and looks away.

"I'm quite fond of writers from the twentieth century. In lieu of courtship, I've found some words to sum things up for me."

Ananda powers up a small device with a brightly lit screen, and begins to read aloud: “This is how I want you: larger and smaller stronger and weaker taller and trembling more, more out of breath that I more burning more penetrating bolder bossier more yielding more frightened narrower and more relentless than you are more than I.” 

Khan turns toward Ananda and thrusts an open hand toward her. Understanding his silent demand, she places the device in his hand, allowing him to read the passage she'd chosen to share. 

He quirks his chin as reads the passage several times before handing the device back to her. He screws his eyes shut and shakes his head. 

Ananda tucks away the device, extends an arm and offers Khan her hand, palm side up. She waits calmly in this attitude as she gazes out at the star field above them. 

Khan's breath catches in his chest as he internalizes the gravity and enormity of their dilemma. 

Eyes moist with unfallen tears, he reaches out and accepts her hand. Staring blankly at the stars overhead, he silently allows the warm tears to trickle down his angular cheeks. She gently squeezes his hand, and moves closer.

Closing the actual and metaphorical distance at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this work is out of canon, I've taken some liberties with how devices work. 
> 
> *PADD (an acronym for Personal Access Display Device) is a hand-held computer interface technology commonly used throughout the Federation and many other civilizations throughout the galaxy, for the easy access and sharing of data. (TOS novel: The Fearful Summons) fr Memory Beta:  
> http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/PADD
> 
>  
> 
> The title of this chapter was inspired by this pull quote:  
> “This is what’s happening: together we are descending the stairs of the heart, which lead to the sources. (It is a secret staircase. I knew it existed. Which is why I avoided it. Because it leads to the other-life, deep, underground, the fluvial, the painful.)
> 
> We are in the process of descending into the depths of the heart. To where bodies communicate with each other.”  
> ― Hélène Cixous, The Book of Promethea
> 
> The passage Ananda reads to Khan come from this work also.
> 
>  
> 
> Next up? A coffee klatch, and maybe some good ol' angst driven bodice ripping ;~>
> 
> Not Beta'd... :~|


	8. What About Your Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are we doing this?" Yoshi huffs, indignantly.
> 
> "Ananda needs us to be strong with her, not for her. If you can't do that, you can leave now. I'd be a little hurt, but I'd understand." Kay firmly states.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" huffs Yoshi.

"Because we care about Ananda, and Nyota ships out soon. When she gets back, Nanda will have been pregnant, given birth and her baby will be a toddler. This is the only celebration she'll be able to attend in person." Kay gently explains.

 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/32046BE1-785B-412A-A833-96F6FEC2E8A4_zpssaooic10.jpg.html)

 

"I dunno, guess it'll be worth it. Did you invite Lydia? Haven't seen her in a long time." says Yoshi, with a gleam in her eye.

"Yes, I reached out to Lydia. She'll meet us after Roll Call." Kay confirms.  
"Vida, Janeczka, and Louisa said they'd join us as well. And of course, Kent will be the rooster in the henhouse." she chuckles.

"Cool. Hey... Where's Ananda?" A look of concern suddenly flashes in Yoshi's eyes. She begins to fidget nervously.

"Yoshi... What's wrong darlin'?" asks Kay, now equally concerned.

"Thought I saw some dude lurking at the bar who looked like Khan. But he's on lock down, right?" Yoshi wonders.

"As far as I know, he's still in custody. Wow, Yoshi... You should see your face. You're really scared, aren't you?" 

"Yeah! I mean... No, I'm okay. I just, I dunno... This whole thing creeps me out, Kay. I know you can't tell me most of the details, but what you have shared worries me. Ermagherd, ick factor!" Yoshi shudders dramatically and sticks out her tongue.

"One of the reasons we're here is to show our support, Yoshi. How many times has Nanda been there for you? I'd imagine you've lost count by now. She needs us to be strong with her, not for her. Most of all, she needs a sense of normalcy to help keep her on track. A girl's night out might be what she really needs right now. If you can't do this for her, you can leave. I'd be a little hurt, but I'd understand." 

Without invective, Kay has reminded her friend why they're gathering this night. Yoshi knows that Kay has spoken the truth. And so, decides to stay. She throws herself into a chair, and shakes her head.

"We good?" Asks Kay.  
"Yeah. We're cool. But seriously? This whole creepy feeling started because I saw that guy. I'm telling you... The resemblance is uncanny." "I hear ya." Kay nods, in affirmation.

Just then, Nyota arrives, she too appears visibly shaken. 

 

  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/C29008A5-06B6-4112-9D38-283751CE1D61_zps44vwusfm.jpg.html)   


 

"You saw him too, didn't you?!" Yoshi shrieks. 

"Yeah, just over there..." With a trembling hand, Nyota points toward the bar. Kay notices that Nyota seems a little unsteady on her feet. 

"Sit down, sweetie. You gonna be alright?" Kay thoughtfully inquires.  
"Yeah-yeah-yeah. I'm fine." She tries to reassure Kay, but the good doctor remains concerned. 

"Can I get you something?" Kay and Yoshi ask, in unison.

"Slusho, please." smiles Nyota.  
"I'll have an Arcanis Lager" Yoshi chimes in. 

"Okay, one Slusho, and one Arcanis coming up..." laughs Kay. On her way to the bar Kay glances at her wristwatch and wonders about the guest of honor. "It's not like Nanda to be late..." 

 

Khan and Ananda are sitting back to back in full lotus, aligning their root energy beneath the Utah sky. 

 

ƸӜƷ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will add notes later... ƸӜƷ


	9. We both have brains. We both have eyes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair leave the holosuite and set out to return Khan to his cell. 
> 
> Deep down, they'd both rather be sitting together in silence, than apart. 
> 
> Khan looks over his shoulder at Ananda as he’s being led away. The expression on her face a mixture of confusion and longing that he understood...
> 
> Because the feeling is mutual.

Ananda lolls her head back onto Khan's shoulder. He mirrors her gesture. The two inhale and exhale in tandem.

"Will you chant with me, Noonien?"  
"Yes, Ananda. Which mantra shall we recite?" 

"The Green Tara. Do you remember it?" she asks.  
"Yes, let us begin..." 

Still seated back to back in full lotus, Ananda and Khan press themselves against each other, joined from their hips to their shoulders. They each place their palms together, take a deep breath and begin to chant:

♪Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha♪

They repeat the mantra several times, their separate voices beginning to meld into one. 

The silence that followed was as cleansing as the chanting had been. Ananda knows she needs to break the silence, and her shoulders tighten against Khan. Feeling this change in her posture, he speaks first. 

"Ananda, you have something to tell me. Something unpleasant, perhaps?" His rich mellifluous voice travels up her spine, and releases her tension.

"I've enjoyed our time here, but I need to take you back to the brig. I'm so sorry." She turns around and wraps her arms around him, placing her chin on his shoulder as she speaks. He sits unflinchingly still, but allows her affectionate gesture. 

"I understand your feelings, and accept your sincerity. Though I believe we've crossed a rubicon today, there are more details to consider before we become intimate. I gladly entrust those considerations to you, Ananda." 

He leans into her embrace, allowing himself to feel the warmth of her body against his. Khan begins to process all of the nuances of Ananda's body. The feel of her bosom pressed against his back. Her strong gentle arms, and sweet smell. He quirks a grin as he allows his thoughts to wander, but decides to continue along those lines in private. 

Khan shifts his body as he prepares to stand. Ananda gives his shoulders a squeeze, and releases him. She takes in every inch of his lithe, rangy form as he stands and stretches. 

"Have mercy!" She thinks to herself with a smile. 

As Ananda stands, Khan returns the favor, poring over her figure's well placed curves. "Luscious and sturdy" he chuckles to himself. 

Their eyes meet. This time, they're taking stock, one of the other with slightly dilated pupils. Ananda stoops to retrieve the mylar blanket, giving Khan one more visual to store away for later. 

The pair leave the holosuite and set out to return Khan to his cell. Arriving at the security office is bittersweet for both. Deep down, they'd both rather be sitting together in silence, than apart. As Khan is being led away, he looks over his shoulder at Ananda. The expression on her face a mixture of confusion and longing that he understood, because the feeling was mutual.

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/E38454B3-2181-4DE0-9383-DAEF41BD78C3_zpsojgx6xlt.jpg.html)

ooo~O~ooo

Ananda decides on a brief visit to the Office of Inspector General to personally check the status of a request she'd made regarding Khan's custody. The bizarre intricacies of her situation led to a rather unorthodox request, and she doesn't have time to wait politely while her request languishes as it passes through proper channels. 

Before reaching the IG's outer office Ananda encounters a colleague in the corridor of HQ. 

"Hello Ananda. How've you, um... been?"asks Carol Marcus.

Ananda prepares to return the greeting, making note of Carol's reticent timbre. 

"Fine. And you?" 

"Great! I'll be shipping out on Enterprise shortly. Wish you were joining us. You're definitely a favorite among the staff and crew. You'll be missed. Though I understand you have more pressing matters here at the academy." Carol's endless prattle has revealed the fact that she is aware of Ananda's situation.

"Hmmm, did she mean to say that, or was it a slip of the tongue?" Ananda muses.

"Yes, there some very delicate matters in my purview at present. I wish I were free to discuss them with you. But, propriety prevents me from doing so." Ananda scoffs.

"Well, then..." nods Carol.  
"Yes. Well, nice to see you, Carol. Good luck with your posting onboard the Enterprise. A five year voyage has never been attempted. You're in rarified territory." Ananda is very complementary, but also a little cagey.

As the two women continue on their separate paths, Ananda processes the interaction, and files it away. 

When Ananda reaches the reception area of the Inspector General's office, she's waved through to the office of the Admiral in charge of the division. The office is very bright, but the sleek cookie-cutter nature of the furnishings are off putting to her sensibilities. She notes that the Admiral does not rise from his desk to greet her, and remains seated with his back to the door.

"Please come through, Commander Greydon." says an oddly familiar voice.  
"In light of your findings, I've been expecting you. You'll find the answer to your request contained in a disc on the right hand corner of my desk." Ananda cautiously approaches the desk to retrieve the disc. She slides it toward her and eyes it somewhat suspiciously.

"I won't keep you in suspense, Commander. Your request has been granted. Will you be taking a leave of absence while this matter is... settled?" He asks.

"No sir, I'd been planning on continuing my counseling work. As a matter of fact, the fitness reports for the Enterprise crew have yet to be completed. I still need to meet with Dr McCoy to finalize interviews for the command staff." Ananda stands almost at attention as she addresses the Admiral.

"I've read you crew evaluations. You've been very thorough. In regard to your personal request - since you will be continuing your work for Starfleet, there will be a guard posted at your residence whenever you are not present. The rest of the details are contained on the disc. Do you have any questions, Commander?"

"No sir" 

"Very well. We've concluded our business. You are dismissed" The Admiral rumbles.  
"Thank you sir." And, with that, Ananda turns to leave. Disc in hand.  
She strides leisurely through the half lit glass corridors as she makes her way to her quarters, finding herself in front of the Daystrom Conference Room as it undergoes refurbishment. She stops and places her hand on a pane of glass that encloses the conference room, then she touches one of the metal supports. Searing pain shoots through her hand. Eyes closed now, she see chaos swirling around her. She also hears screaming, and shouting as if she were standing in the amidst the turmoil of that terrible day. She feels more confused than ever. 

Once back in the corridor, she sends a message to Kay:

On my way. Can't stay long. New developments. Early day tomorrow. AG

Kay's communicator chirps and she looks down to see the message from Ananda. 

"Okay girls, Nanda is on her way, but it'll be a short night for her. I think something's come up..." 

ooo~O~ooo

Ananda breezes in with Kent on her arm. The pair seem to be enjoying each other's company, but their eyes light up when they see their friends enjoying themselves. 

Kent turns to Ananda and smiles. "How ‘bout it, kiddo? Just what the doctor ordered." 

Kay sees Ananda across the bar, and enthusiastically waves her over. Kay hugs Ananda and smoothes her hand up and down Kent's arm. The assembly of gal pals becomes more lively as Kent and Ananda take their place among the group. 

Nyota leans in and whispers to Ananda "How'd it go today? Was it weird? Were you scared?" "Weird? Of course. Scared? Nope." Ananda says, popping the "P" for emphasis. "Not even a little? Wow. You've gotta tell me how you managed that one..." sighs Nyota.

Ananda notices that her friend seems fidgety and a little guarded.

"Did something happen today, Ny? What's going on with you?"Ananda queries  
Nyota puts her hands in her lap, then reaches for her Slusho with a slight tremor.

"Please tell me. I'm worried that if you don't get this off your chest now, it'll effect your fitness eval tomorrow. So, give..." Ananda speaks softly, to reassure her friend of her good intentions. "Earlier... I saw a man here tonight that looked like Khan. It took me off guard, Nanda. They could've been twins." Nyota's voice shakes as she speaks, belying her calm exterior.

"You're here with us, and you're safe. Khan is in the brig at HQ." Ananda tries to reassure her friend. But her concern is not only personal. "Sounds like you have Post Traumatic Stress. If anyone gets wind of this, you'll be grounded."

"Wait!-wait!-wait! I am not cra..." Nyota sets her jaw and snaps at Ananda. Before she completes her sentence, Ananda interrupts.  
"Nobody said you were. I just want you to be mindful of what's at stake. Goodness knows, I am." sighs Ananda.  
"I know you are, sweetie. I know..." Nyota, pats Ananda's knee and nods in acknowledgement.

A break in the heaviness of their conversation comes when a server arrives at the table to take the group's order. 

Having noticed they have no drinks or napkins, the server looks to Ananda and Kent first. "Bourbon. Straight, no chaser." mumbles Ananda. Kent whistles, then cheerfully adds "I'll have what she's having!" The two chuckle and fist bump.

Kay waves her hand to negate Ananda's order. "If you're having what she's having, you'll be having Jestral Tea." Ananda wrinkles her nose, then nods.

"Two teas?" The server asks, looking at Kent for confirmation. 

"Sure. Two teas. But make mine a double, with extra Stevia... please." he grouses.  
Ananda points to Kent and nods in acquiescence.

"Will you be dining this evening as well?" Asks the server. 

The group murmurs as they each check with the other. "Niçoise Salad, family style!" they say in unison. "Six plates please" adds Kay.

"Very good. I'll be back shortly with hot tea. Would you like that in a teapot or just cups?"

"Teapot, please" Ananda decides.  
The server smiles as she transmits her order, typing aa she turns to leave.

 

"There's only five of us, Kay. Who's the extra plate for?" Yoshi demurs.  
"I'm still hoping that Lydia will join us." says Kay, brightly.

"So, Nanda... You and psycho boy? Have you... Um... You know, done the thing? Girl! What's he like?" Yoshi chirps.  
>"First of all? Dial it back at little. Next? No. We haven't consummated. I'm a little worried about that. Three hundred years of cryosleep is bound to have taken its toll." Ananda shakes her head.

Pfft. Girl, please... It just means you'll have to try and try again ‘til things get up and running." she cackles. "Yoshi!! Please. This is not the time. Maybe you should have some tea too? One more crack like that, and no more lagers for you, missy" Kay admonishes. "Crassness aside, there's an element of truth to what she said. This is not a one and done under the best of circumstances. His cryosleep aside, your stress level alone can make this arduous for you both." Kay supposes. 

"Do you have any concerns about his temper? Well adjusted men have been known to handle this sorta thing badly. Can you imagine?..." Kay clutches Ananda's shoulder and her expression turns serious.  
"Please, just keep talking like there's not a man in your presence." Kent chuckles.  
"Sorry..." Ananda gently squeezes Kent's hand.  
He rests his elbows on the table and adds: "But, please - do tell..."

"That's not even the half of it. Wait ‘til he finds out that I'm a virgin." Ananda covers her face with hands. 

"YOU WHAT?!" gasp Yoshi and Kay. Nyota rolls her eyes and shrugs. 

Kent's eyes widen, and he quirks a knowing grin. "So, that's why we never.." He whistles, and makes a rude gesture with his fist and forearm.

"Sorry, but no. I value your friendship. Being one of your conquests was never in the cards." Ananda chuckles. 

As if on cue, the server arrives with a bountiful salad.

  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/28634DF2-46CA-4CDF-B122-A9475FA47AD4_zpsslysvzup.jpg.html)  


"Will there be anything else? Another Arcanis for you Ma'am?" The server looks to Yoshi for her response. Kay begins passing plates around as she addresses their server: "We're fine, thanks. And she will not be needing another beer." Yoshi sticks out her tongue at Kay but, both women giggle. Kay leans over, smoothes Yoshi's hair and rubs between her shoulders. 

The group is pleased with the gorgeous repast before them. A pleasant patter passes between the friends as they enjoy their meal and converse about lighthearted matters. Ananda checks the time, and excuses herself. Kent says his goodbyes as well, and escorts Ananda home. 

When the pair arrive at Ananda's home they see Lydia, pacing nervously. She greets them, but asks Kent to step aside so she can talk to Ananda in private. He observes the conversation from a distance, but he can tell by the body language and hand gestures that they're discussing something very serious. Lydia motions over to Kent, beckoning him to join them. Once within earshot, she begins to explain "Walk her to the door. Quick peck goodnight, then come with me. No questions." 

Kent looks back and forth between Ananda and Lydia, then complies. Lydia's communicator pings, and she flips it open to speak.

Ananda sprints down the walkway to her front door. Arriving at her front door, she sees Khan and two security officers. "Ohhh!... WOW! Yeah, okay." Kent squeezes ananda's shoulder, and leaves without uttering another syllable. He mopes as he makes his way to Lydia's squad car for the ride home.

"Security One mobile, to base... Subject secure. Dropping off the sidecar and returning to the barn. Security One, out..."

"Get in and shut up" she barks.

He obediently gets into the vehicle, and buckles himself in. "You want the flashers on?" she offers with a wink.

"Hell yeah. Hit it!" he chortles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed fr "Neither of Us Can See" by Incubus  
> Incubus w/Chrissie Hynde - Neither of Us Can See  
> http://youtu.be/4GR8Rtt_ajE
> 
> Next Up?... Bodice ripping, intrigue, and feels. Okay, no ripping. I think. ;~>


	10. Shepherd Meets Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Must be strangely exciting  
> to watch the stoic squirm  
> Must be somewhat heartening  
> to watch shepherd meet shepherd
> 
> But you, you're not allowed  
> You're uninvited -
> 
> An unfortunate slight...

Ananda looks closer at the security officers and discovers that they are not regular Starfleet security. 

"You guys are MACOs?!"

"Yes Ma'am. Your IG, Admiral Ericsson called us in for this assignment. Address any of your questions or concerns with him, Ma'am. Romero and I are strictly 'need to know'." explains Sargeant O'malley.

Ananda looks at Khan and notices a familiar wristband. It's one of the biofeedback monitors she invented. 

"What is the meaning of THIS?!" She barks, as she points to Khan's wrist.

"Ma'am..." O'Malley waves his hands as he launches into another explanation.  
"The Commander here has been fitted with a tracking device." he points to Khans right wrist. "There are sensors placed around your perimeter. If he attempts to breach the perimeter we will be notified. If he is successful, he will be forcibly subdued, Ma'am." 

"Define 'forcibly'..."

"Data taken from the device at the time of breach will assist in recommending the appropriate level of force, up to and including deadly force. Ma'am." 

Ananda's knees wobble. Khan steadies her, and continues observe the exchange between Ananda and the Marine guards. 

"Anything else, Sergeant?" Ananda asks.

"We have been instructed to keep a log of your movements in regards to your leaving and returning to the residence, Ma'am." O'Malley smirks and shrugs.

Ananda pushes past the guards and opens her front door. She shoves Khan inside ahead of her. Following closely behind him, she stomps angrily across the threshold and slams the door shut.

Khan turns to look at Ananda. She glares at him for several moments before speaking. "Shoes off, please." She stoops to remove her footgear, she flings each shoe to the floor near Khan's feet, then turns to set her alarm code. While Ananda eyes the monitor of her security system, she watches the guards outside laugh and congratulate each other. She spins on her heels and jogs down the staircase to her living room with Khan in close pursuit.

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/6340E37A-C4B4-4C6B-A430-BA969F873C56_zpsbwanieni.jpg.html)

When they reach the foot of the stairs, Khan reaches out and grabs her by the arm. "Ananda! Please... wait!" he pleads.

"Dammit!-Dammit!-Damn! What the FUCK was I thinking?! This is crazy. What am I doing?" She twists her arm away from Khan's grasp, and begins walking backward. He reaches out to her and she angrily smacks his hand away. "Don't... Do not... Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me." She growls through clenched teeth. He closes the distance between them and spins her into him, back to front. She wriggles and squirms petulanly.

He leans into her and places his lips near her ear. "This is just what they want, Ananda. Stop and think, woman! Someone means for you to fail. Don't give them a unearned victory. Failure is a luxury we cannot afford."

Ananda stops struggling, and listens to Khan's voice. Allowing the timbre and cadence soothe her, she screws her eyes shut and takes a beat to calm herself. 

"To turn a phrase, ‘We don't have time to indulge your dissonance.’ So, let's decide to make the best of things. We only think we know the face of our adversary. Whomever it turns out to be, nothing would give me greater joy them proving them wrong." he rumbles, in his lower register. 

"You're right, Noonien. Neither of us has chosen this path, but it's ours to walk. Isn't it?" Khan nods in agreement. "Whatever has passed before, we've gotta be mindful of the basics. Tantrum over." She rededicates herself to the task at hand. 

"Well then, let's get you settled. Is there anything I can do for you?" She asks as she begins walking down the hallway to her spare bedroom. "How long has it been since you've slept in a real bedroom?"

He pauses to consider her question before answering. "I honestly can't remember, Ananda." When they reach the doorway, they both stop and look at each other soulfully. Both sigh, and enter the room one after the other. Ananda perches herself on the corner of the bed and says: "So, this is you. This is where you'll be sleeping." She pats the mattress beside her. Khan sits next to her, but she stands up immediately. "Would you like to take a shower, maybe? Are you feeling peckish at all?" She blathers, nervously.

"Not hungry, but I'd rather enjoy a nice hot bath. Had lots of showers." he sighs.

"I understand. There's a clean robe in the closet, and the tub is upstairs. It's, um... in my room. You're welcome to anything you need. There's a drawer filled with grooming supplies for guests." she simpered. "I have some messages to return, if you need anything - just ask the computer to help you." "Thanks..." Before he finishes his sentence, Ananda is nearly out of the door. 

She scampers hastily to her office, and secures the space as she grabs her wireless earpiece in preparation to make calls and retrieve messages. "Computer, how many unheard messages do I have?  
"Good evening Commander. You have fifteen unheard messages."  
"Please separate work from personal and prioritize"  
"Yes, Commander."  
Ananda waits a tick before the computer completes the requested task. 

"You have three calls of vital importance. Please call Admiral Ericsson on a secure line, right away."  
"Thank you, computer. Please encrypt the line and dial the Admiral"  
"Phone line is secure. Dialing Jack Ericsson."  
Ananda reaches the Admiral's cloud messaging system, enters a code and retrieves a message left for her. She replays the message several times, and slumps into her chair.  
"Computer?"  
"Yes, Commander?"  
"Dial Deanna Troi on a secure connection. Priority urgent"  
"Right away, Commander"

Deanna Troi is an up and comer in the counseling service at Starfleet. She's as quick and intuitive as Ananda, and the two have worked well together. She explains part of her conundrum to Deanna, and the two agree that Troi should take over the evaluations of the Enterprise executive staff officers. Her duties duly reassigned, Ananda is free to consider how her evening will unfold. With Khan using her en suite, Ananda decides to use the guest bathroom to shower and prepare for bed. 

After her shower, Ananda relaxes in her living room with a warm blanket, a pot of tea, and her tablet. After his bath, Khan repaired to the guest room and emerges wearing a Kurta that had been left out by Ananda. He makes his way into the living room, looking a bit puzzled. 

"Ananda?" he asks. "How did you anticipate my need to wear this garment?" He looks down, and stares back and forth at his cotton clad arms. 

"I didn't" she chortles. "I have company on a regular basis, and always have comfy clothes and toiletries ready." she smiles. "Good fit, yeah?" 

"One might say it's... wearable." he quirks his chin and crinkles his nose. 

"Good! Would you like a cup of tea, Noonien?" she offers.  
"Yes, thank you." He accepts graciously, 

"Come, have a seat." She moves her blanket to make room for him on the sofa. He sits close to her, but keeps a respectful distance. Ananda pours Khan a hot cup of tea, and settles back into the cushions of her L-shaped sofa. He sips quietly, and a contented hum escapes his lips. She giggles at how relaxed he's become. He quirks a brow at her, and she responds "That face! You should see yourself! Who'd have guessed that a creature as fearsome as the great and mighty KHAN could relax and enjoy the simple pleasure of a fresh brewed cup of tea?" she says, with a relieved grin. 

"The tea is a nice distraction while processing the day's events. I'm sure you've been mulling things over, as well." 

"Yes, I have." she nods in agreement. 

"What are you reading, Ananda?" he queries. His smooth rumbly voice make her toes curl. She hopes he doesn't notice.  
"Volume Two of the Diaries of Anaïs Nin. She's one of my favorite twentieth century writers."

"She wrote erotica, did she not? What might that suggest about you, Ms Greydon?" He quirks a half smile. 

Pleased that Khan has let his guard down a little, Ananda is free to relax and begin to appreciate Khan as a human being. A man with needs like any other. A fierce warrior who will protect his beloved family at all costs. She's allowing herself to feel safe in his presence. Her growing sense of trust, and concern are reflected back to her in equal measure. 

"Will you read to me, Ananda? I enjoyed listening to your voice when we were in the holosuite. It would be a pleasure to listen to you read about seduction and intrigue." He's grinning now. A full on smile, with bright sparkly eyes.

Just as Ananda flips through the pages of her e-book, Be-Bop surfaces. She leaps onto the back of the sofa and heads straight for Khan. Demanding attention, she head butts Khan's elbow until he relents and scratches her vigorously behind each ear. When she's had her fill, she jumps down and saunters away. She jogs briskly up the stairs and looks over her shoulder at Ananda and Khan. "Mer-mau!" announces the sassy feline with a blink as she flounces off. 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/A8A07150-4B0D-4F4C-AD72-1D40EE710F9E_zpshxtfmnwo.jpg.html)

,

 

"As affectionate and intense as her human companion." he notes.

"No matter the species, girls have gotta stick together" chuckles Ananda. 

_That is a good sign!_ Ananda muses. _If Be-Bop likes him, he must be redeemable_ she thinks to herself. She smiles at Khan, and he nods slightly. 

“It'd be my pleasure to read to you, Noonien. Once again, I'll let the writer speak for me. I love reading. It's like having a library in your head. And after you've read it, it becomes yours to keep. Tucked neatly away in a dusty corner of your brain. Mmm..." Ananda sighs wistfully as she seeks a passage to share. 

 

"Nin really speaks to me, Noonien. She's not given to flowery overdrawn prose, but you arrive exactly where she wants to take you..." she explains, thoughtfully. "Ah! found it!" she beams with delight. 

Khan fidgets in his borrowed outfit, it's been many years since he's worn anything resembling his native dress.

Ananda bunches up her blanket and grabs a pillow. She props up her tablet and lies on her tummy. She waggles her feet back and forth happily as she begins to read:

‘Do you know what I would answer to someone who asked me for a description of myself, in a hurry? I might tell them this -’ 

"Are we in the author's voice, or was that your commentary, Ananda?" Khan ponders.

"These words are her words. But, I chose to share this snippet because it neatly sums up how I feel." she smiles as she continues. 

‘For indeed my life is a perpetual question mark--my thirst for books, my observations of people, all tend to satisfy a great, overwhelming desire to know, to understand, to find an answer to a million questions. And gradually the answers are revealed, many things are explained, and above all, many things are given names and described, and my restlessness is subdued...’ Ananda pauses, skips ahead, and completes the passage.

‘I have the habit of peeping and prying and listening and seeking--passionate curiosity and expectation. But I have also the habit of being surprised, the habit of being filled with wonder and satisfaction each time I stumble on some wondrous thing. The first habit could make me a philosopher or a cynic or perhaps a humorist. But the other habit destroys all the delicate foundations, and I find each day that I am still...only a Woman!’

Khan gazes at Ananda with a sense of wonder, and admiration. Ananda flips herself over and peers up at Khan, watching him carefully consider his next words. 

"You have something on your mind, Noonien?"  
"Yes. Our sleeping arrangements? I'd like very much to fall asleep with you, Ananda. Would you permit me to share a bed with you tonight?" 

Ananda clutches her tablet to her chest, and powers it down as she formulates her reply. 

"Sure." she yawns. She reaches over her head and offers Khan her hand. He clasps it between his, ghosts her fingers over his cheek and softly kisses her wrist. 

"We'll share the guest room, if that's okay with you." she whispers.  
"I'd like that very much, Ananda." Khan breathes.

"Computer, evening shut down. Ambient guest room. Yo-Yo Ma, Bach Cello Suites, most played first" Ananda requests.

"Commencing shut down. Evening mode. Guest room at 72°. Searching music library... Accessing. Would you like an endless loop, Ananda?"  
"No, once through, then Brazilian Rainforest."  
"Usual waking sequence?"  
"No, lazy Sunday."  
"You are aware that it is Thursday?"  
"Yes... Thank you, Computer"  
"Good night, Ananda."

Ananda leads Khan down the hall to the guest room. The pair breeze nonchalantly through the door, and pad over to the bed. After settling on the edge of the bed, Ananda reaches for Khan's hands. She looks down at the tracking device on his wrist, and shakes her head ruefully. 

"If I told you that I knew this is how my day would end, I'd be lying. But, here we are. And... I feel excited, and clueless, and a little scared. One moment, I want your hands all over me and the next I want to..." Khan places two of his fingers over her lips to stop her talking. "Shhh..."  
He shakes his head as he tenderly cradles her head between his hands. He ghosts a thumb over her lips, and looks deeply into her eyes. Ananda's eyes mist over slightly, and she tries to turn away. 

"You're trembling, Ananda." He furrows his brow. "You're safe with me." He tries to assuage her fear by speaking calmly and thoughtfully. Deciding he has nothing to lose, Khan makes an admission to Ananda - "I've dreamt of you in my arms Ananda. Before this night - I've dreamt of touching your skin. I've lain awake imagining how you'd feel next to me. It's all I want tonight." 

The sincerity of Khan's words show in his eyes, and Ananda surrenders her apprehension - just for tonight. She blinks the unfallen tears from her eyes, and he smoothes them from her cheek. The corners of her mouth pull her lips into a slight smile, but her eyes remain sad. 

"Okay. Let's get ourselves under the duvet and settle in." she recommends.

They instinctively choose their preferred side of the bed, turn down the covers, and snuggle in. They gaze contently at each other in the half light. Ananda turns her back to Khan, and he wraps his arms around her. "Mmmm... Ananda." he sighs. For the second time this evening, Ananda's toes curl at the sound of Khan's voice. "Good night, Noonien." She exhales softly and drifts off to sleep. 

During the night, they each wake intermittently, taking turns observing the other in unguarded slumber. Khan wakes up first. He reaches across his pillow to sweep a few strands of hair from Ananda's face and lightly traces her lips with his fingertips. She stirs slightly, but his touch doesn't disturb her sleep. 

The next morning, Ananda eyes open slowly, and finds Khan gazing directly at her. She blinks the remaining sleep from her eyes as she struggles to find her voice. 

"Good Morning, Noonien." she grins.  
"Good Morning to you, too." he breathes, in a very bed-roomy baritone.

Ananda pulls Khan closer to her by his shirt, and kisses the end of his nose. He chuckles and quirks a half grin.

 

"Noonien, let's make a baby..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title and summary borrowed from:
> 
> Alanis Morissette - Uninvited  
> http://youtu.be/FjTB6EG3xGo
> 
> Damned pesky lyrics! After posting this chapter, Miz U found at least three iterations of her chapter title. Oddly, any of them still express the spirit of the text.  
> Scratching my neatly coiffed head... 
> 
> Guess that's what happens when songs are _misunderstood ___;~ >


	11. Stop Before You Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan leaps out of bed, sweeps Ananda off the mattress and into his arms. He drapes her over his shoulder and makes for the stairs. 
> 
> "Noonien! What're you doing?" Ananda laughs.  
> "Hush woman! We're going upstairs." He sprints up the stairs two at a time without jostling her. 
> 
> She squeals and kicks her feet as he carries her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a decidedly more erotic tone than previous postings. NSFW, and not for young readers.

Ananda bites her bottom lip, and grins at Khan mischievously. "I don't think you'll be needing these... Do you?"

She rucks up Khan's shirt and tugs on his pajama bottoms. He rolls onto his back, wiggles out of his pyjama bottoms and kicks them down to the end of the covers. Ananda drapes herself across Khan's chest, and rests her head over his heart. "Please hold me, Noonien." He pulls her close and wraps his arms around her. She nestles beneath his chin and sighs. 

Ananda allows her hand wander down Khan's torso until she feels the exposed skin of his thigh beneath the duvet. He moans softly as she brushes her fingers over the wispy hairs on his exposed flesh. He reaches for her hand, laces their fingers together, coaxing her to explore further. After a short time, she breaks away and props herself on an elbow. "Something wrong, Ananda?" Khan asks.  
"No, not really. Just wondering..." She flops onto her pillow, and stares up at the ceiling.  
"About what?" his reply.  
"Everything, and nothing." she says, almost sing-song.  
"Do you have apprehensions, Ananda?"  
"Of course, Noonien. Who wouldn't?" 

"What can I do to allay your fears? Please tell me..." he offers.

"There's no one thing. I'm so overwhelmed. And yes, a little afraid. Not terror, just nagging doubts." Ananda's voice is soft and earthy as she speaks. She reaches for Khan's hand and clasps it to her bosom. He moves to close the distance between them, propping himself on his elbows while hovering slightly above her.

"Tell me one thing that's on you mind. Don't think about it, just allow yourself to share with me." She stops staring at the ceiling and looks directly into his eyes. His sincerity flows through her, and she tries to relax. Ananda inhales deeply and exhales slowly. She smoothes the hair from his forehead, and nuzzles his nose. 

"There's something on my mind, but I don't want to... I mean, um..." She speaks haltingly.  
"Secrets, Ananda?" he chuckles.

"Can we please just get it over with?" she blurts.  
"Over with?" The sparkle in Khan's eyes begins to dull, and his face clouds with disappointment. His expression morphs from playful curiosity to edgy and tense. The change in mood causes Ananda to stiffen beneath him. He senses the subtle change and begins to move away from Ananda. 

"Oh! Oh, NO! I didn't mean it like that... I need you to be very gentle with me, Noonien. That's all. If I explain why, you'll behave differently." He screws his eyes closed and turns his head.  
"Are you still?..."  
"Unfortunately, yes. I am." he huffs.  
She reaches between them and attempts to stroke him through his nightshirt. He pulls her hand away, and pins her arm above her head.

"I'm ready for you, too." she coos, as she lifts the front of her nightgown, rubbing herself against him. She begins slowly. Ananda grinds her hips into Khan, and her undulating gradually picks up speed. Khan's soft steady breathing gives way to deep soulful moans. 

Fully tumescent, Khan uses his free hand to pull up his nightshirt and rut himself against her, countering Ananda's rhythm. She closes her eyes and lolls her head back. Feeling relaxed and in sync with Khan, she reaches for him and lines him up at her core. He grabs her hips, and enters her slowly. Ananda grimaces, and clamps her arms around Khan as he sinks into her. Once fully seated, he stops to adjust to the feeling of being inside her. Beyond the physical sensations, a swirl of intense emotion overtake both.

Khan rolls his hips gently and thrusts with smooth long strokes. Ananda arches into him as she feels herself tensing around him. A coil in Khan's gut unwinds. He pants and groans as he finds his release. Ananda shudders, and her body goes slack beneath him. She begins to giggle. 

"Ananda?!" he mumbles into her neck.

He pulls up and gazes at her, half lidded. She smiles up at him and cards her fingers through his sweat soaked mane.

"Wow. Okay... So, that's what it's like? Now I get it!" she coos.  
"Wait! This was your first time?"  
"Yeah, it was. Except for the first little bit, it was kinda nice."

"Did you..." he doesn't finish his sentence before she answers.  
"I did! Oh, so intense. Thank you, Noonien. You were beautiful" she kisses his forehead.  
"Ananda, is that what you were trying to tell me? I'm not sure how to process this."  
"Don't analyze it. How much of any of this makes sense? Can we not talk about this right now. I need to lie still for fifteen minutes with a pillow under my hips." 

"I've got a better idea" he grins.  
Khan leaps out of bed, sweeps her off the mattress and into his arms. He drapes her over his shoulder and makes for the stairs. "Noonien! What're you doing?" Ananda laughs.  
"Hush woman! We're going upstairs." He sprints up the stairs two at a time without jostling Ananda. She squeals and kicks her feet. Khan swats her backside and admonishes her. "Keep still. You have thirteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds before you're allowed to move" She can't see his face, but he has a devilish grin. He's enjoying his role as protector, and takes it very seriously. When he reaches her bedroom, he sits on bed and smoothes her rump where he'd thwacked her moments before. 

 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-10/2014-11/3E47F5B4-9262-452A-B29F-7BF5D91859D1_zpsz5zcxgwe.jpg.html)

 

He takes the opportunity to speak candidly "I would have wanted to know that you'd not experienced intercourse before. Your pleas for gentleness did not go unheard, but I think I could have been more tender with you, Ananda." "Circumstances of our union aside, you deserve to be treated with care. I want to take time to learn the curves and planes of your body, and how you respond to being caressed. I'd like you to enjoy sharing yourself with me. We may need to do this many more times before we're successful." 

"I understand your concern, Noonien. But, I didn't want to take you off task. I know that seems cold. " she plainly states.  
"Truth has no temperature, Ananda. It simply is..." his earnest reply.  
"Time?" she asks.  
"Two minutes, fifteen seconds."  
"By the way - how are you able to tell how much time is left?" she wonders.  
"Simple math. I made careful note of the time as we left the guest room, and calculated from there. It's one my enhanced abilities."  
"Your reputation for aggression tends to overshadow your intellect, Noonien. There's so much more. I'm looking forward to delving into your inner mysteries." she purrs.  
"Mmm... I like the sound of that, Ananda" he says as he grazes his fingers over the back of her thighs.

She groans softly and her toes curl reflexively. He makes note of her reaction and smiles secretly. 

As if on cue, they both exhale. Fifteen minutes have passed, and neither is sure how to proceed.  
"TIME!" Khan rumbles.

He leans forward, and smoothly sets her feet on the floor. Standing in front of him now, Ananda clasps Khan's head to her bosom and cards her fingers through his hair, down to the scalp. He throws his arms around her and draws her tightly to him. She rocks him in her arms and kisses the top of his head. 

"Noonien?" Ananda whispers.  
"Mmmph?" his muffled reply.

"Did they enhance _everything_?" she wonders aloud.  
"Why do you ask?" He replies with a throaty chuckle.  
"I have no empirical basis for comparison, but you seem or rather, felt... kind of, umm... Large- _ish_?"  
"Does that give you cause for concern, Ananda?" he grins.  
"No. Not at all. I'm a little sore, but I kinda like it." She grabs the top of his head, yanks it back and stares directly into his eyes. He rises to his feet, grabs her waist and pulls her close. She narrows her eyes and smiles as she spins around, placing herself between Khan and the mattress. Ananda gathers fists full of his nightshirt in her hands and walks backward. Crashing onto the bed pulling Khan on top of her. 

"Is this an unspoken affect gesture, Ananda?" Khan teases.  
"Of a sort. Or, do I need to spell things out for you?" She asks, in a bawdy mezzo.  
"Perhaps you should. In the interest of clarity, of course." he chuckles.  
"Of course..." she smiles. 

He pries her knees apart, and kneels in front of her as he pushes up her nightgown. He rests on his haunches and takes in the sight of Ananda with her sex exposed to him. Khan rakes his fingers back and forth over the tops of her thighs before clasping his hands them around them and pulling her toward him. Using the angle of his own thighs for leverage, he lines himself up with her and watches as he sinks slowly into her moist, yielding core. Ananda crosses her ankles behind Khan's head and rocks her hips until she's comfortable. Feeling Khan inside her is a sensation she's still unaccustomed to experiencing. Though his fullness isn't wholly unpleasant, she finds herself unable to relax fully and give herself over to the pleasure of the act. Khan senses some tension in Ananda. He slows his thrusting, then stops. 

"Ananda, you look so far away. Are you in pain? Am I moving too fast or to thrusting too aggressively?" He employs his lower register in an attempt to soothe her.  
"Can we change positions, Noonien?" she pleads.  
"Yes, of course. Anything you'd like. What would you prefer?"  
"I'd like to try Balasana. I think it would be more comfortable for both of us." she says.  
"As you wish" he purrs.  
The pair uncouple themselves and maneuver themselves into the new position. Khan relaxes and enters Ananda slowly and very methodically. He takes her very cautiously until he's fully seated. He pauses thoughtfully to allow her to adjust to his fullness, she sighs and he feels her muscles relax. Though they aren't face to face, the duo seem more comfortable and immediately find a pace and rhythm that compliments them. Ananda's taut moist core surrounds him like a glove, and he delights in all of the sensations of feeling her from the inside. Having separated the circumstance of their union from the act itself, Khan indulges his emotions and allows himself a few moments to feel passion for Ananda. Having presented herself silently to Khan in child pose, Ananda is in deep thought. She banishes anything negative from disturbing her peaceful repose while noting that the friction and heat of Khan inside her excites her in ways that she'd not expected. 

Their farcical facade of insisting that their assignations are merely a biological transaction crumbles away with each well timed downstroke.

Ananda's soft mewling and Khan's guttural moaning meld symphonically as their hips pitch and roll in time, each with the other. As his climax nears, a wave warmth spreads through Khan's gut. He grunts through clenched teeth as he becomes more aware of Ananda's core quivering and pulsing around him. The coil of tension in his pelvis unwinds and he spills himself inside Ananda.

Khan tumbles over, and lies on his side. He brings Ananda close to him, and wraps himself around her. Ananda lies next to Khan, tenderly cocooned by him. She pulls her knees to her chest and endeavours to lie still.

_"Fifteen minutes..." she smiles._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo-Yo Ma: Bach Cello Suite No.1 - Prelude  
> http://youtu.be/PCicM6i59_I
> 
> I found Cello Suite No.1 in its entirety by another artist, but Miz U was listening to Yo-Yo Ma, and his version is posted on YouTube in several videos. BTW: check out his face as he plays! Exquisite! 
> 
> Additional musical inspiration from Nine Inch Nails, Maroon 5, and Jamie Foxx...
> 
>  
> 
> Not Beta'd - all mistakes are mine.  
> (that means I'll find errors, freak out and update a lot!)


	12. The Cruelest of Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How clever of you to re-appropriate her little toy and use it against them. Do you think they'll _ever_ figure it out?" 
> 
> "Ananda Greydon isn't a nitwit, my dear. But, by the time it occurs to either one that something is awry - we'll have more than we need to crush them both."

Across town, a plot against Ananda and Khan is being cruelly devised. Carol Marcus and Inspector General Jack Ericsson have joined forces to to exact revenge on the augment duo. Though Marcus & Ericsson are acting in concert, they each have their own reason for wanting misfortune to befall the augments. 

"Jack, have they done the deed yet?" Carol inquires.  
"Oh, yes... Twice at least, judging by the readings from his wristband" laughs Admiral Ericsson.

"How clever of you to re-appropriate her little toy and use it against them. Do you think they'll ever figure it out?" Carol asks, with a devious grin.  
"Greydon isn't a nitwit, my dear. But, by the time it occurs to either one, we'll have what we need to crush them both."  
"I do like the sound of that. I'm not a jealous person, but I don't like other people using my things." she pants as she sits astride the Admiral.

"Carol, luv - are you still carrying a little torch for Harrison?" He asks.  
"No. This isn't about love or longing. I just want someone to pay for taking away my father and the mate he created for me. John Harrison was supposed to be mine. Daddy made him for me!" she whines.

"Well, my dear - he stole my face to create your monster. Your father copied everything down to the last mole. He even has my facial tics. But why lament the loss of an inferior copy, when you have the original?" He chuckles in a baritone eerily similar to Khan.  
"I want that half breed bitch to pay. Don't care about details. My father isn't here to explain why he changed his mind about pairing _me _with Harrison, so I've decided to neutralize them. And their offspring to be. If they're taken out, we both win... Though I'd settle for rendering her emotionally inert."__

"You are such a devious little vixen." He says, thrusting after each word for emphasis.  
"Mmmm, Jack... So good. Sooo goood!” she moans.  
"Yeah? You like that, eh?! How about this?..." He stands up and Carol wraps her legs around his waist. He thrusts angrily into her and they laugh while fomenting their vile machinations. Stopping to indulge in a moment of carnality a mere side light for the two.

They climax nearly simultaneously. Carol kisses a bead of sweat from the end of Jack's nose and licks her lips. He sets her down on the edge of his desk with a thud and withdraws. "Shower?" she asks. He gestures with his head in the direction of his en suite. She slides from the desktop and heads for the bathroom. He pulls up his pants, refastens his trousers and returns to his office chair. He swivels around childishly, throws his head back and laughs impishly. 

After her shower, Carol emerges seductively from the en suite. She stops at the doorway as she dries her hair with a hand towel, clad only in fresh knickers and a bra.  
"Do cover yourself, my love. I've sampled your wares. Any further display is pointless, and just a touch uncouth." Jack waves his hand and yawns dramatically.

Her eyes widen in surprise. She spins on her heels and retreats into the en suite, slamming the door behind her.  
He laughs a deep belly laugh and turns toward his office window. He reaches into his breast pocket and retrieves his phone. He opens the photo gallery and taps on a picture. He sighs longingly as he runs his slender fingers over the photo.

_It's Ananda._

"Don't worry darlin' I won't let her hurt you" coos Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curiouser and curiouser! ;~>
> 
> More notes later... ƸӜƷ


	13. Caught Up In Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We've things to get sorted, you and I. Are we to begin our negotiations here, in the bath?" Ananda smiles and kisses Khan's shoulder.
> 
> "Only if we refresh the water." Khan rumbles, in a lush baritone.  
> 

While silently waiting for her fifteen minutes to pass, Ananda falls asleep in Khan's arms. She begins to snore softly, and Khan places a tender kiss on her ear. With great care, he extricates himself from their embrace, crosses the room to the tub and fills the bath for them. He drops in a dragon bath bomb, pulls up a sleeve, and churns the water until the orb disintegrates. The splashing rouses Ananda and she smiles to herself as she watches Khan prepare their bath. Sensing her gaze, he turns to look at her and cants his head as he greets her. 

"Would you like to share a bath with me, Ananda?" he offers.  
"That sounds lovely." 

She swings her legs out of bed, stretches, and pads over to the tub to join Khan. She removes her nightgown as she lowers herself into the softly scented water. Khan follows suit, and the two find themselves ogling each other, grinning broadly. 

Ananda floats over to Khan, nestles herself between his thighs and leans into his chest. She smoothes her hands up and down his thighs and hums softly. Experiencing each other completely nude for the first time is making them both a little nervous, but the warm silky water encourages Ananda to be a little adventurous, and Khan doesn't mind at all. 

"May I kiss you, Ananda?" Khan purrs.  
"Yes, Noonien. You may..." She smiles coquettishly and nods.

Ananda turns to face Khan, and they smile at each other before beginning to cover the face of the other with soft kisses. He cradles her face in his hands and draws her close. He pecks the corners of her mouth delicately. Luxuriating in the fullness of her lips, he kisses each one separately before leaning in for a soul kiss. She parts her lips to allow their tongues to dart and swirl and seek. Khan kisses her tenderly, and deeply.

Feeling a little light headed, Ananda breaks the kiss, nuzzles Khan's nose, lays her head on his shoulder. 

She reaches behind him for a sponge, dips it into the water and waves it over an eyebeam. A perfect dollop of foam is dispensed onto her sponge she that she squeezes until it lathers before she sweetly begins to bathe Khan. Ananda swabs his chest, neck and arms very languidly. He dips himself beneath the water to rinse before turning to present his back for similar ministrations. Ananda takes great pleasure in her handiwork - worrying her lip and scrunching her nose as she watches the frothy bubbles cascade down his back, cresting over his backside to dissipate into the water. 

Ananda releases the sponge, watches it float away and sink. She slides over and wraps her arms around Khan, who is thoroughly relaxed, but still highly alert.  
"I don't think we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves, Noonien." Ananda posits.  
"I'm sure our pleasure was a variable not accounted for in the scheme of things. But, that matters little to me, at present... " He glides his pruned fingertips over Ananda's arm and presses himself into her. 

"We've got lots of things to get sorted, you and I. Are we gonna begin negotiations here, in the bath?" She smiles and kisses his shoulder.  
"Only if we refresh the water." With his back turned, his roguish grin is contradicted by the humourless monotone in his voice. 

Ananda uses her foot to let water out of the tub, and manipulate the spigot, replacing the used tepid liquid with a stream of piping hot, fresh water. She hooks her feet under Khan's arms and draws him closer, as she reclines on the back of the huge oval tub. He allows himself to drift backward until his head rests on her ample bosom. She hums softly and places a kiss on top of his head.

"Noonien, what is it like to be you?" Ananda sighs.  
"I don't understand the question..."

"Before you recovered your memory, you looked in the mirror and saw John Harrison. But after you discovered your true identity... What was it like to look in the mirror, or see your reflection? Knowing that inside you were someone else?..." Ananda's voice catches in her throat, but she continues. "I can't imagine what that must be like..." Her voice is soft and soothing, but the sadness and confusion she feels is loud and clear.  
"When you learned that you had been augmented, how did that make you feel, Ananda? You felt a bit betrayed, did you not? Confused? Angry, maybe?"  
"Yes. Yes to all those things, Noonien. But I'm still Ananda inside."  
"Please help me understand. I want... I just want..." she pleads.

"Ananda?..."  
"Noonien. Who are you? Really. Are you the tender, gentle soul who made love to me? Or are you an intolerant, cruel and uncompromising psychopath who crushed a man's skull bare handed and laid waste to a city? Which one of you did I give myself to?" She gasps. 

"What have I done?" she sobs. 

Khan braces himself and stands suddenly. Ananda draws into a ball and rocks herself. Khan reaches down and pulls her to her feet, spilling water around the tub as he draws her close. "Ananda, please look at me." 

"YES! I am an impulsive, angry, seemingly vengeful man. I've been running or fighting to survive all my life. The only security or real happiness I ever had was the camaraderie of my crew. When I thought their lives were in danger It felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest and shown to me, still beating." Ananda's naked body is wracked by sobs. Khan pulls her uncomfortably close, but she makes no attempt to pry herself away from him. 

Ananda trembles. The ambient air chills her skin, but more than that, a deep abiding sense of fear and regret finds its way into her heart, casting a pall over her newfound feelings.

"My demons are legion, Ananda. You know this. I'm a proud man, but I stand here asking you to give me a chance to come to terms with who I am. And, who I've been. We've started something together. Something wonderful. Let's give it a chance to grow." He reaches between them, places his hands on her tummy and holds them there. 

Through her tears she looks at Khan, takes a deep breath, and places her hands over his. Her unspoken gesture moves him to tears. They pull each other into an embrace so intense they feel as if they cannot breathe on their own.

Khan lifts them both from the tub, crosses the room to Ananda's bed, grabbing a towel on way. He places her on the mattress and tenderly begins to dry her. She frees the towel from his hands, and takes him into her arms.

"Say nothing. Just hold me. And don't let me go." Ananda implores.  
"Okay..." he chortles.  
"Noonien Singh, Are you trying to have the last word?!" She pouts.  
"Perhaps" He quirks a brow, and smiles.  
"We can do this all day..." she huffs.

"Ananda?"  
"Yes, Noonien?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you..."

Ananda smiles sweetly, looks directly into Khan's eyes and chuckles:

" _You win..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised chapter title fr “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper:  
> Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time lyric  
> http://youtu.be/2PqhOrgk11A
> 
> Original chapter title borrowed liberally (read:truncated) from the song "Secretly" by Skunk Anansie  
> Skunk Anansie - Secretly (uncut)  
> (Music starts at 1:23)  
> http://youtu.be/7M8UxZDk56o
> 
>  
> 
> Dragon Bath Bomb? It's a thing:  
> http://www.lushusa.com/Dragon%27s-Egg/03154,en_US,pd.html
> 
> More notes later?
> 
>  
> 
> Mistakes? All mine. I'll "fix ‘em in post...”


	14. When is A Monster Not A Monster?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'd like to imprint you to my computer, Noonien. I think you should have access to its most important functions. It may never be necessary, but I'd rather not take that for granted." Ananda states, very formally.
> 
> "Come with me..." She unfolds her legs and vaults from the counter top, landing squarely in front of Khan. 
> 
> She grabs two of his fingers and leads him to her office. The door slides open and she pulls him inside secures the space to begin the voice imprint sequence.

Ananda and Khan are billing and cooing happily in the kitchen with Ananda sitting crossed legged on the counter, as they share a light meal and discuss next steps.

"We've got to get you out of that outfit, Noonien."  
"Gladly!" He gleefully begins to strip off his shirt before Ananda stops him.  
"Not quite what I had in mind just now, but definitely later." She clears her throat, and smoothes down his shirt. 

"I spoke imprecisely. What I meant was we need to find you different clothes to wear. That outfit has so much symbolism, none of it good."  
"Agreed" Khan nods.

"I'd also like to imprint you to my computer. I think you should have your own access. It may never be necessary, but I'd rather not take that for granted." She states, very formally.  
"A very prudent gesture on your part, Ananda. We should prepare ourselves for any eventuality." Khan concurs.

"Come with me..." She unfolds her legs and vaults from the counter top, landing squarely in front of Khan. She grabs two of his fingers and leads him to her office. The door slides open and she pulls him inside. 

"Computer?"  
"Good Afternoon Commander Greydon. Do I detect the presence of another humanoid life form?"  
"Yes, computer."  
"Should I initiate security vetting protocol?"  
"Yes, please vet and imprint Commander John Harrison. Repeat sequence for Noonien Singh." 

"Accessing Starfleet Data Archives. Please wait..."

"Access denied. Neither Commander Harrison nor Noonien Singh can be found in official Federation data archives."

"Computer! Please encrypt this communication. Eyes only. Initiate black box sequence two three, one seven, four six, one one. Imprint: Singh, Noonien, and Harrison, John. Upon completion, refile and encrypt this action on local VPN."

"Understood Commander. Preparing local VPN to encrypt and receive."  
"Noonien, be a sport and play nice with the computer. She'll guide you along." Ananda kisses him on the cheek and prepares to leave.  
"Wait! Where are you going?" He asks, with a furrowed brow. 

"Gotta find Beeb. Haven't seen her since last night. She must be starving by now. Poor girl. Don't worry. It'll be fine, Noonien. This computer is used to odd security functions."  
"By your leave, madame." he chortles.  
"Actually, by yours..." She winks and pinches his bum as she breezes out of her office space.

Ananda searches for Be-Bop, and begins calling out to her.  
"Beeb? Here girl! Pwwt!-Pwwt!-Pwwt!" She scours the entire house before deciding to look outside in her garden. Ananda opens the door, and begins to look around near her koi pond.  


  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-12/4822AD73-2EFF-467F-B495-1700A121B9D2_zpsofm5dsmh.png.html)   


Ananda stops when she sees Be-Bop beneath the waterfall. "Silly, silly girl. You're the only cat I know that loves being wet! C'mon girl!" She rushes over to the water feature to scold the wayward cat and bring her indoors, but instead scoops up the lifeless body of her feline friend. "Beeba!? Nooooo!" Ananda wails. She cradles Be-Bop. Clutching the feline to her chest. Khan, now finished with the computer steps into the hallway and hears Ananda faintly. The closer her gets to the patio door, the louder the wailing grows. He rushes out to the koi pond to find Ananda on her knees rocking the inanimate creature and crying.

"Ananda!, what's happened!?"  
"She's dead, Noonien!  
Khan moves closer, and stoops behind her, encircling her in his arms.  
"Don't cry my love. I can save her..."

Ananda is so distraught, his words don't register with her. Though it pains him to do so, he dashes back inside, leaving Ananda wracked in sobs on her patio. Having recalled the location of her personal communicator, he makes a beeline straight to it. Khan powers up the device and enters a code that bypasses the phone's security features, allowing him to access her contacts and make a call. He chooses Dr Sollodovsky. Believing that Ananda has placed the call, the doctor answers without a second thought.

"Doctor Sollodovsky, this is Khan, I am here at Ananda's residence, and she needs you. We both need you."  
"Oh! Omigosh! What have you done to her?!" she accuses.  
"I've done nothing but place this call to you. Someone has caused harm to her cat. If you can stop judging me long enough get here with a portable plasma separator, we may be able to revive her beloved pet. Also, Ananda may be in need of a sedative. She's extremely overwrought, and I cannot calm her.

The line goes dead, and twenty minutes later, Kay arrives at Ananda's house, device in tow. Without asking Khan what to do, she pushes up one of his sleeves, swabs his forearm, and takes two blood samples. She dispenses both into a portable device that separates Khan's red blood cells from the plasma that contains the platelets needed to inject Be-Bop in an attempt to revive her. The two rush out to the patio to find Ananda lying on her side clutching Be-Bop, stroking her damp fur. Acting concertedly, the doctor removes the lifeless feline from Ananda's hands while Khan pulls her upright, and then into his arms. He allows her to cling to him as he brings her inside. He thoughtfully sets her on the sofa and covers her with a blanket. Khan places a pillow against his leg and draws her close. She finds the pillow and rests her head there. Khan smoothes her temple with a dab of lavender oil that Kay left on the coffee table. Ananda's ragged breathing normalizes, and she begins to become aware of herself and her surroundings.

"Noonien?"  
"Yes, my darling?"  
"Thank you. I'm so sorry to be such a wreck. Why did they do it? I don't understand. My Beeba... I loved her, Noonien. Who could be so cruel?" 

He strokes her face softly, and runs his fingers through her hair.  
"Shh... No words. Try to lie still, now. Kay and I are here for you. We're going to take care of you. Close your eyes, you need to rest." 

Khan's eyes become dark, and his face clouds over with pure unadulterated rage. 

  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2014-12/D6E44F69-2B17-4B5F-9E58-8CC37A1F220F_zpswpuvukul.jpg.html)   


By his reckoning, only a coward would harm a kindly, defenseless animal. He understood the role of Be-Bop in Ananda's life, and will not rest until he finds out what caused misadventure to befall the beloved creature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed from:  
> “Start Here” by Caitlyn Siehl  
> From her collection of poems "What We Buried"
> 
> Start by wiping the blood off of his chin and  
> pretending to understand.  
> Repeat to yourself -  
> “I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you”  
> until you fall asleep and dream of the place  
> where nothing is red.  
> When is a monster not a monster?  
> Oh, when you love it...
> 
> It's late, and Miz U is tired. A more thorough going over is in order once it's light out.


	15. Love Is A Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to experience something memorable with you, Noonien."  
> "I'd like that too, Ananda"...
> 
> They gaze at each other tenderly as they lie still, each sharing the breath of the other.
> 
> Khan breathes a long sigh. He nuzzles his nose in Ananda's hair and breathes in the lingering scent of the lavender from earlier in the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows something fairly traumatic in the heroine’s life. She's feeling hurt, and is comforted tenderly. That being said... This chapter is most assuredly NSFW.

Kay descends the staircase and strides purposefully toward the living room where Khan has been keeping watch over Ananda. She stops a few steps behind the sofa and declares confidently: "It's handled."  
"Your platelets were separated and spun into a serum used to inject Be-Bop's spine. We won't know for sure how successful we've been for another twelve hours or so. Thank you for calling me to help, Khan. You've done a beautiful job of keeping Ananda calm. Witnessing a man of your temperament and reputation behaving so benevolently is puzzling. I'm afraid I'd misjudged you completely. " Kay shakes her head, while trying to put the events of the day in perspective. 

"I've accepted every twist and turn that has brought Ananda into my life. My first thought was just to fulfill my part in the Admiral's scheme, and let the chips fall as they will. But - Ananda has come to mean more to me than you could ever imagine."  
"Ananda is not just a valued colleague, she is a good friend. I'm pleased to know that she's in capable hands. I am struggling to make sense of this. Not just the incident with Be-Bop, but the plan itself, in toto. As we're both aware, there are no approved sedatives to give Ananda. You seem very attuned to her needs so, If she continues to struggle with anxiety, confusion or refuses to eat... please give me a call."  
"Yes, doctor. I will."  
Khan moves to stand, but the doctor waves him off. "No, please keep your seat. I'll let myself out. Expect a call from me later to check on Nanda and Be-Bop."  
"Thank you, doctor. For everything..."  
"We no longer need to stand on ceremony. Please call me Kay. We'll talk soon." The doctor makes her exit quietly and feels secure that Ananda will be well attended by Khan. She is puzzled, but satisfied and even a little happy for her friend.

Ananda awakens snuggled under the duvet in her guest room, and notices Khan, studying her very attentively from across the room. He crosses to join her, taking her in his arms and placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Noonien, I need to get away from here."  
"I understand."  
"No, you don't. I want to go HQ to use a holosuite. If I do that, we can share an adventure."  
Khan breathes a long sigh. He nuzzles his nose in Ananda's hair and breathes in the lingering scent of the lavender oil he smoothed onto her temples earlier.

"Where are we off to, Ananda?"  
"Mmmm... I don't know. My head is full of possibilities. Not sure what to choose" she sighs.  
"What is in your heart? You've had such a stressful day. Let that guide your choice."  
"I want to go somewhere I've never been. I'd only ever allowed myself to explore places where I could enjoy being alone. Peaceful solitude had always been my number one concern."  
"And, now?"  
"I want to experience something memorable with you, Noonien."  
"I'd like that too, Ananda"

They gaze at each other tenderly, basking in their warmth and sharing the breath of the other.

"I want to give myself to you without thinking about the biomechanics of the act. I want to feel free to experience real passion. I want you to make love to me."  
"Are we unable to do that here? This is your home, Ananda."  
"Well, now that someone has upset my sense of sanctuary, I need to feel safe. Just for a little while."  
"If it's that important to you, then we will work together to restore your sense of balance. But you shouldn't shy away from what's happened. You deserve to feel secure in your own space. After a journey to the holosuite, we would still need to return to reality. Home is reality. Perhaps our work should begin here."  
"You have a point, Noonien." she sighs.

Ananda sits up and draws Khan into her. She leans on his shoulder and whispers in his ear. He grins, and gives his reply in a very rumbly baritone.

"Hmmm. I'd not stopped to give it much thought because we were in the moment. I suppose I'd say: moist, tight, pink, and Sacred."  
"I like those words. And they sound so sensuous coming from those beautiful lips."  
"I'd not been labouring under the same emotional restrictions as you. From the first our first intimate moments, I've wanted little more than to enjoy the feeling of your body next to mine. Watching as I slowly disappear inside you inch by inch. Your scent. The beautiful color and softness of your skin. The only thing left to explore is taste, Ananda."

She gazes at Khan, eyes smoldering. 

"We've shared a few kisses." she says, softly.  
"Yes, we have. But I'm speaking of something much more carnal. A kiss of a different sort, perhaps?"  
"What kind of kiss, Noonien?" She purrs softly as she licks the shell of his ear and nibbles his earlobe.  
"I'd kiss you from your feet to the top of your head."

Ananda's pupils dilate, and she giggles with uncharacteristic shyness.

"Does that notion shock you, Ananda? That I'd want to enjoy your essence in such a way? Woman... You make me hungry for you." He kisses her sweetly on the top of her head.  
"No, it doesn't shock or upset me. I... I'm just not sure that's what I want right from you right now."  
"Tell me what you want, Ananda."  
"I want you make the hurt go away. Make me feel good, Noonien. Can you do that?"  
"I can try, my darling."  
"Please. Make me feel... good..." She pulls him close with both hands, clutching and pulling at his shirt, fingers raking through his hair and over his skin as Khan quickly removes his clothes. 

Ananda peels her clothing away and continues to pull Khan's body close to her. He kisses her passionately as she runs her fingers up and down his spine. Her movements become increasingly fierce, but full of a poignant unspoken longing that Khan understands immediately. She whispers hoarsely into his ear and lolls her head back.  
"No, Ananda. That's an ugly word for such a sublime undertaking. I will take my time and give you the care and tenderness you deserve."

Her breath catches in her throat as she speaks "I want you, Noonien."  
"And you shall have me."  
"Please?... Make. Me. Feel. Good." she nearly sobs. 

Ananda flips Khan onto his back, sits astride him and ruts herself against him. The feel of him becoming tumescent beneath her moistening core tantalizes and delights her. Words fail him as he takes in the sight of her, writhing and undulating above him. Khan closes his eyes, parts his lips, and emits a low feral growl from deep within his abdomen. She reaches between them, lines him up with her core, and slides down onto him very deliberately. Khan watches intently as his length is gradually enveloped by Ananda's slick, velvety warmth. His toes curl, and he groans through clenched teeth.

Khan clamps his fingers on Ananda's hips and kneads the fleshy globes of her derrière as she rocks back and forth. She smoothes her hands over his torso and leans down for a kiss. He clings to her passionately and returns her kiss. Both begin to luxuriate in the friction and enjoy the sticky wet sounds of their joined bodies as they make love.

Deep within Ananda's core, a light, pleasant fluttering gives way to intense pulsing and contracting. Khan sensing his climax is inevitable, maneuvers their bodies into a position better suited for Ananda to capture and retain his release. 

A ball of energy explodes inside Khan, and he quivers as he spills his seed deep into Ananda's waiting core. She clasps herself to him as her muscles tighten and her toes curl. She arches into him, panting and moaning. She calls out his name, and shudders as every muscle in her body constricts and suddenly releases every ounce of grief and tension stored within her. 

Khan begins to pull his hips away from her, but she begins to sob and softly pleads:  
"Please don't. Not yet. I want to feel you inside me a little longer..."  
"As you wish, my darling. I'm here for you." He sweetly kisses her forehead, and strokes her face with the pad of his thumb. 

Ananda raises her knees, and crosses her ankles on the small of Khan's back. 

"Noonien?"  
"Yes, my love?"

"I can feel it. That was the one. We've done it..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sassiebone: I'm workin' on a chapter just for you. Taking a hint from you that the only thing better than hurt and comfort is more of the same. 
> 
> “The owls are not what they seem!” Loyalties will be strained... ;~>


	16. Looking For A Complication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're an asshole, Jack Ericsson. I hate you." Carol whimpers, her eyes moist with tears.
> 
> "Don't be so melodramatic. We are simply a means to each other's end, are we not? Have you no appreciation for the synergy of our little arrangement? Pity. Thought you'd be a better playmate. I thought retaliation and revenge was squarely in your family's wheelhouse? Shower, dress, and leave. You bore me." Ericsson huffs, as he waves her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definite dub-con elements mid way through.

"Good morning." Khan rumbles, as he smiles at Ananda across his pillow.  
"Mmmm... I think it will be" she smiles groggily.

The two exchange a deep, languorous kiss and softly stroke the face of the other. Today might prove to be the first day of a brand new phase in their collaboration. Ananda sits up, swings her legs out of bed, and prepares to leave bed, but Khan pulls her into a hug. He wraps himself around her and the two sit entwined, perched on the edge of the bed. Ananda is still not sure what to make of her situation, but enjoys Khan's intensity and warmth. She leans into him and sighs deeply as he lavishes her neck and shoulders with soft kisses. 

"Let's take a shower, my beloved. We're both sticky and exhausted. A nice hot shower might be energizing and provide an opportunity for further exploration." His request is unvarnished, and basic. Ananda nods in agreement, and starts for the guest bath. Khan props himself on his side and takes in the minutiae of every movement she makes. 

Ananda steps into the bathroom and consults the computer to set a relaxing mood. 

"Computer..."  
"Good Morning, Ananda"  
"Thank you, Computer - Please raise the ambient floor temperature, dim the lights to daybreak, and add Pacific Northwest forest sounds."  
"Working... Request Complete. Would you like to change the water temperature or flow from the shower head, Ananda?"  
"No. Manual temperature and flow."  
"Would you like to save these settings, Ananda?"  
"Yes, save settings as 'The Earth Says Hello'"  
"Working... Request Complete."

Ananda steps into the shower and adjusts the flow of water to replicate a warm steady spring rain. She braces herself against a shower wall as she enjoys the warmth of the water on her skin. The mix of tiny pearls and large droplets of water combine randomly to create a very heady bathing experience. 

"Computer... Please add light woodland scent to the current settings."  
"Accessing... Working... Request Complete. Regionally appropriate environmental scent will now be applied to current and future use of these settings"  
"Computer?"  
"Yes, Ananda?"  
"Please prepare two mugs of Masala Chai in 37 minutes, with a ten minute reminder. Hold ten minutes."  
Working... Of a forty-seven minute interval, prepare beverages in thirty-seven minutes, set reminder at ten minutes prior, hold beverage at serving temperature, ten minutes."  
"Yes! Thank You, Computer"  
"Request Complete"

Ananda slathers her hair with shampoo. Using the pads of her fingertips she thoroughly massages her scalp luxuriating in the viscous lather-less preparation. She runs her fingers through the length to the ends; gives a twist, and piles it on top of her head. When Khan finally joins her, she's ready to rinse, and he's delighted to assist. 

"Where are we bathing, might I ask?" Khan purrs as he slips into the shower behind Ananda. 

"Nowhere specific. Spring, dawn. Pacific Northwest Trail. One of the last intact wilderness areas left North America. It was still quite beautiful in your time." Ananda sighs.

Khan looks down at the shower floor, and shifts nervously. 

"I'm sorry. That was not meant to... I mean..." She takes a beat, and begins anew "You've lived through the unspeakable, haven't you, Noonien?"  
"I am indeed a product of circumstance as much as choices, but I choose not to wallow in either. The bearing of a warrior is such that I've forgone many of the forced contrivances thought of as civilized niceties. I hope you'll be my guide, Ananda. There are worlds for us to discover. Together, we are capable of many things." 

Khan cups his hands to catch water that he uses to help Ananda rinse her hair. She tilts her head and allows him to attend her. Kindness is something Khan had always viewed as superfluous. An affect proffered by the intellectually bereft to ensnare others by dint of their own hubris. His dealings with Starfleet only served to reinforce those notions. Until now.  
He finds Ananda's cool reserve, deep intellect, and quietly fierce femininity very appealing. Her willingness to lower her guard to permit him access to her total being in such an intimate way has been singular and remarkable. Of course he doubts whether he can ever hope to balance the scales with her. Can one ever requite someone for liberating them from their captivity? Not only has Khan been freed from physical captivity at Starfleet HQ, but the intense psychological barriers he'd created to navigate deftly from one predicament to the next. The last few days have shown him that being hyper-vigilant doesn't minimize tragedy, neither does it allow the rhythm of life to ebb and flow as it should. He is becoming aware that surviving is limited to merely existing, not creating a life worthy of fond remembrance. 

 

Ananda turns to face Khan and smiles at him. She reaches for a sponge, wets it, and passes it over an eye-beam that dispenses a dollop of foam before handing it to Khan. His eyes sparkle with delight as he begins to pass the sponge over her shoulders, patting her in gentle circles. His eyes are drinking her in, causing him to lose track of the cleansing process and abandon the sponge in favor of his bare hands. He squeezes the sponge and lets it fall to the floor. Khan chuckles almost wickedly, rubbing his palms together before soaping Ananda's bosom. Her first instinct is to withdraw from his touch, but his enthusism wins out.

"Please... don't shy away from me, Ananda." He sinks to his knees to continue his ministrations. Khan angles around for the sponge. Once in his hands, he lifts her foot and places it on his thigh to anchor it. He smoothes his hands up Ananda's leg from her ankle to the top of her thigh. The warm water sluices between his slender fingers as he soaps then rinses every inch before repeating his handiwork on the other leg. He notices her skin contract a bit, then turn to gooseflesh at his touch.

"Are you cold, scared, or... excited, my dear?" Khan asks. The richness of his voice thrums inside the small enclosure. Ananda's knees wobble, and Khan draws her down into his arms. 

"A bit of all three, I suppose, Noonien. Today is a big deal. We'll find out if we've been successful. And if we have, what next? What if they take you away? I don't want you to go back. I want you here, with me. I can't do this alone. My friends are my family; but they can't keep me warm at night, can they? The thought of waking up alone, with my belly full of you breaks my heart. Not for my own selfish reasons, but because..."

"You are a strong capable woman, Ananda. If they placed me back into cryostasis tomorrow, I would return to sleep a happy man. To have experienced you so fully, and knowing that my line will continue would give me a sense of peace that cannot be measured. I'm proud to have been chosen to pair with you, my love." 

Khan looks into Ananda's eyes and finds tension and uncertainty. He suspects she's crying, but the shower is masking and washing away her tears. She buries her head in his neck, and allows herself to break down. He sweeps them to their feet,carries her to the built in shower seat, and sits with her wrapped around him. He gently strokes her back and coos softly to soothe her. 

"Ananda?"  
"Mmm?"  
"Let's not set our minds adrift in the endless sea of possibilities." He kisses her forehead.  
"Okay." She says aloud. But, in her heart of hearts - she doesn't believe that things will turn out well. 

"Ananda, your tea will be ready in ten minutes" says the computer.  
"Thank you, Computer."  
"Let's take our tea by the koi pond, and enjoy the outdoors together. You have such a lovely home, Ananda. I've enjoyed myself here. My hope is that I will continue to do so."  
"Noonien? I..."  
He places a finger over her lips to stop her talking.  
"And, I you..."

ooo~0~ooo

 

"Jack, come back to bed. I'm getting lonely waiting for you" complains Carol Marcus, with a pout.

“What absolute genius!” says Jack Ericsson, with great delight. "I'm getting some fascinating data from that contraption. That little bracelet reads fluctuations in stress biomarkers. Khan's baseline is usually the high side of normal. Even in his sleep. These dopamine and norepinephrine readings are very telling. I'll be damned. There's something interesting going on at Villa Greydon. He's falling in love as I speak!" He laughs and rubs his palms together as envisions his revenge. He conjures an act of depravity so vile, that it might have made Admiral Marcus himself cringe. "Well, Johnny-boy, you'd better enjoy yourself while you can. Now that I know the real chink in your armor - I'll be gunning for you, full bore. Hmmm. Sweet, sweet Ananda..." He muses. The light from his computer screen casts a pale glow on his cold angular features that highlight the spiteful gleam in his eye. 

He sends the computer into sleep mode and spins around in his chair. He leaps from the chair and strolls triumphantly over to his bed, where Carol is waiting for him. He unties the sash of his robe, and shrugs it to the floor. Ericsson climbs onto the bed and crawls up to Carol on all fours, like a jungle cat stalking its prey. He stops, peels away the covers and grabs her by an ankle. In one swift motion, he drags her toward him. The speed and force causing a friction burn on her bottom. 

"Jack!" she gasps. 

He flips her over, soundly smacks the red irritated flesh on her bum and she yelps in pain. He laughs wickedly, raises his arm above his shoulder, splays his fingers and swats her again. The resultant thwack vibrates up his arm when he connects. She continues to whimper softly, but does not cry out again. He throws his body on top of hers and ruts against her. He pulls her hair with one hand, and pins one of her arms to the mattress with the other.

"Dammit! Jack, you're hurting ME!" she snivels.  
He rolls off and stretches out leisurely; tucking his hands behind his head. He glowers contemptuously at Carol.  
"You've left some unfinished business, my dear. Chop-chop! Get to it." He looks her directly in the eye, then down to his burgeoning erection. She raises herself to her knees, leans down and begins servicing the vile man.  
"Oooo! Yessss!" he sibilates. "Mmmm. That's nice. Oh, just look at you go! Your father would be so proud if he could see you now!" He laughs as he taunts her. On the next downstroke, Carol smiles as she scrapes the underside of his member with her teeth. This infuriates Ericsson, and he retaliates immediately by pulling her hair, then forces her head down to his crotch until he hears her gag. Her eyes roll back, her face turns red, and she flails wildly as she tries to breathe. He releases her, but not without admonishment: "Don't do that again, my sweet. Next time, my correction won't be so benevolent. Do carry on..." 

As Carol continues her handiwork, he lays out details of the next phase of his revenge. "Harrison and Greydon. They've become quite attached to one another. That bit with the cat should have amped up the anxiety immeasurably, but only served to draw them closer. Not one of your best ideas, my love." She shakes her head. "I like that. Do it again!" he demands.  
"Where was I? You're doing well, by the way. Keep that up, won't you? Harrison and Greydon... I'll lure her to my office, and you'll have plenty of time to do whatever you need to do. The guards will let you in. No worries there. And by all means, please enjoy yourself. We're not unreasonable people, are we, love?" 

She shakes her head again. He mewls and groans his way to an explosive climax. Carol disengages, spits, and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "You're an asshole, Jack Ericsson. I hate you." She grumbles, Her eyes moist with tears.

"Don't be so dramatic. We are simply a means to each other's end, are we not? You're a spoiled little bitch with no sense of the absurd. Have you no appreciation for the synergy of our little arrangement? Pity. Thought you'd be a better playmate. Shower, dress, and leave. I'm bored of you, Carol. We'll be in touch with instructions." He arrogantly informs her. 

Carol springs out of his bed as if propelled by an unseen force. On her way out she collects her clothing and turns to give him the finger. "Fuck you!"

 

"Been there. Done that. Got the sticky bedclothes as proof." He chuckles as she takes her leave. "By the way, love..." 

Carol pauses.

" _Have A Nice Day_!!" He throws his head back and laughs maniacally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title graciously borrowed from the Foo Fighters:
> 
> Foo Fighters - Learn to fly (acoustic)  
> http://youtu.be/GU7opRsXahI
> 
> Now I'm looking to the sky to save me  
> Looking for a sign of life  
> Looking for something to help me burn out bright  
> I'm looking for a complication  
> Looking 'cause I'm tired of tyin'  
> Make my way back home when I learn to fly high.
> 
> I think I'm done nursing the patience  
> It can wait one night  
> I'd give it all away if you give me one last try...


	17. Caesura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ananda props herself on Khan's chest and stares at him intently.  
> Her pupils almost fully dilated, she eyes Khan with a carnality, and intensity that he'd not experienced from her.  
> " _And what am I to do with you, Noonien Singh?_ Hmm? You've said no thanks necessary. I beg to differ." Ananda purrs in a deeply smoky mezzo.

Khan and Ananda sip masala tea and take in the bright morning sun seated together on the cormalite terrace of Ananda's home. There is a silence between them that is comfortable and reassuring. Khan contemplates dangling his feet in the koi pond but thinks better of it. Though he is not a man given to whimsy, the thought of causing a stir among the residents of the pond gives rise to a brief, but mischievous grin. Ananda snuggles next to Khan and nuzzles the shell of his ear. She plants a soft kiss on his earlobe.

"Thank you, Ananda." Khan purrs in a smooth warm baritone.  
"It was just a tiny peck" she smiles.  
"Mmm, yes. But I was speaking of the tea. It is a small but thoughtful reminder of my true heritage."  
"I don't want or have need to blunt you over the head with your past, Noonien. My exploration of your truth will never come at the expense of your dignity. With all the complexities we have to consider, I find myself in need of reminding, too. Your outer presentation is John Harrison, but your lived experiences are largely those of Noonien Singh. How do you..." She shakes her head "How will we make sense of that duality? Sometimes when I look at you..." her voice catches in her throat. "You seem so far away. Almost as if you're lost and fighting to find your way back." Ananda speaks softly, choosing her words very deliberately.

"I've never been a man of many words. Too often, people cloak themselves in prose. Hiding behind smiling faces, lying to those that trust them most. Actions are the measure of a man. Some of the things I've done... The choices I've made..." Khan sets down his mug, turns to Ananda and fixes her in a very intense gaze. His eyes tell a complex story. A powerful admixture of strength, sadness, culpability, and devotion. A flash of unfiltered sincerity radiates from Khan that Ananda finds appealing. Her sense of the man before her is one that longs for a chance to atone for perceived wrongs. Someone whose love for his family was sublimated into acts of savagery that will always be misunderstood. 

"Our choices have led us here, Noonien. And _we_ are here together. This moment..." She softly kisses his cheek, rests her chin on his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. " _This moment_." She whispers, tenderly kissing him again. "And this moment..." She reaches for him. "Take my hand Noonien. Please accept my imperfect understanding of who you are. The light in me beholds the light in you." He offers Ananda an open hand, she clasps it between hers, turns it palm upward and kisses the heel of his hand. She places his hand over her heart, and reaches for his cheek with her other hand. Khan kisses that hand and mirrors her gesture, covering her hand over his heart.

" _This.._." she squeezes his hand. "This is where we live, Noonien. No matter what. No matter where we are, you live in my heart. And soon, a part of you will begin growing inside me, and the spirit of our being will reside here, too." She smiles and places his hand just above her navel. Ananda looks into Khan's eyes with great affection, and her eyes moisten. Khan touches her face delicately with his fingertips, and moves in for a kiss. They pause to share a breath moments before their lips meet and meld together. Tenderness gives way to urgency as the kiss deepens. They sit entwined, fully engrossed in the moment, taking no notice of the soft, tiny footfalls on the terrace. 

_"Mer-mau? Merrrrroww?!"_

Ananda breaks away to look down at her feet.

"BE-BOP!!" Ananda's gasps with delight and utter surprise. 

"Pwwt!-Pwwt!-Pwwt! C'mere girl!" She calls to the newly revived, still stubborn feline. Be-bop bypasses Ananda in favor of sashaying directly over to Khan. She walks in a figure eight pattern between his feet, and playfully jumps into his lap.  
Be-Bop places her forepaws on Khan's chest and licks his face affectionately. He quirks an uncomfortable sideways grin, but begins to stroke the cat lovingly. Khan grabs her under her arms, holds her aloft and furrows his brow as he inspects her. With his cursory examination complete, he thoughtfully places the feline in the waiting arms of her human companion. 

"I... I don't understand, Noonien. How is this possible?" she wonders aloud.  
"We revived her. Dr Sollodovsky and I. We synthesized platelets from my blood into a serum, and she injected Be-Bop's necrotizing tissue in the hopes that we could bring her back. The effects took longer than expected, but I've kept close track of her. I've been checking her regularly for signs of life until a short time ago."  
"Noonien!... _Thank-you!-Thank-you!- **Thank-you!**_ " Ananda holds her beloved feline snugly and nuzzles the top of her head. "You gave her back to me. How could I ever, ever..."

"There is no need for you to thank me, Ananda. Reviving your beloved animal companion was an act of grace, by two people who care for you. Dr Sollodovsky and I merely sought to restore a bit of equilibrium to your life."

"You, and Kay?" Ananda looks at Khan quizzically.  
"Yes. When I found you by the koi pond cradling Be-Bop, you were overcome with grief. I didn't know how to soothe you, so I reached out to your most trusted friend. I contacted her immediately, and she arrived straight away. She brought the equipment necessary to proceed with our plan, and something to relax you."

Ananda stoops to put Be-Bop down on the terrace. When she stands, she grabs Khan by the front of his shirt with both hands and places a blistering kiss on his lips. He moans into the kiss and cradles Ananda's head, carding his fingers through her hair as she parts his lips with her tongue. She kisses him until he's nearly breathless. When Khan breaks away to catch his breath, Ananda walks him backward, through the patio door, into the living room and over to the sofa. She flings herself at him and they topple over the arm of the sofa into a passionate embrace. Khan raises himself up on bent elbows and looks at Ananda in amazement. He cants his head, narrows his eyes and rumbles "Ananda?"

She props herself on his chest and stares back at him. Her pupils almost fully dilated, she eyes Khan with a carnality, and intensity that he'd not experienced from her.  
"And what am I to do with you, Noonien Singh? Hmm? You've said no thanks necessary. I beg to differ." Ananda purrs in a deeply smoky mezzo. She raises an eyebrow, and worries her bottom lip a bit as she formulates a plan to express her gratitude. 

"I'm going to thank you, Noonien. And you're gonna enjoy it. I'm gonna thank you so hard, that you'll be tired and sore afterwards. I promise..." Ananda's vamping has Khan's undivided attention. 

"What'd you have in mind?" He matches her earthy mezzo with his deepest baritone. 

"Among other things? The unexplored sense. _Taste_. Still curious?" she drawls.

Khan nods and smiles. In what seems like one quick motion, he sits upright, swings his legs in front of him, and sweeps Ananda into his arms. Before Ananda can say another word, Khan is on his feet, heading for the stairs with her draped around him.  
"Noonien, Where are we going?"  
"Upstairs. We're going to need the extra space. And privacy."  
"Should I be apprehensive, or intrigued?"  
"Allow me to pleasure you and I promise you nothing but delight, my love. We are moving beyond the staid mechanics of procreation and squarely into the realm of desire. If you truly wish to thank me, please permit me this indulgence." 

When they reach the threshold of Ananda's bedroom, Khan sets Ananda gently on her own two feet. She leads him over to the bed and, in a flurry of hands, they divest each other of their clothing. They pause just long enough for a brief but soulful kiss before Khan turns down the bed. Ananda crawls under the covers and fluffs the pillows nervously. Khan joins her under the duvet, and pulls her close to him. He sweeps a few strands of hair from her face and places a soft kiss on her forehead. The heat and intensity has cooled, and the moment has instead turned quite poignant. Sensing this change in mood, Khan decides to set aside his request for extensive exploration. He tenderly ghosts the pad of his thumb over Ananda's cheek and smiles sweetly at her. 

"I apologize, Noonien. I thought I was ready..."  
"No apologies needed. You've committed no offense. I understand, my love. We'll explore when you are ready... Not a moment before." 

Ananda looks relieved, but a little sad. 

"I want to give you everything. For you to feel whole. Guess I never thought about it that way until this moment. After we'd gotten undressed, instead of pouncing on me like a madman consumed with lust, you did something astonishing, Noonien. The simple act of turning down the covers was so compassionate. It was amazing, and tender and frankly a bit confusing." 

Khan chuckles. "You've spoken a truth that I will take at face value. I've often puzzled at my own actions, Ananda. Ordinarily I'd not given much consideration to the consequences of my actions or behavior as long as I'd seen the end game I'd imagined come to fruition. And even if it did not, had little care beyond my own concerns. I've come to realize that I am not diminished by showing you kindness. Your lack of fear challenges me to rethink what strength is. Besides, aggression won't get me very far with you, Ananda. You proved that the day we met."

"If you only knew! I was terrified that you would literally crush me, Noonien. But I was determined to not feed your ego by appearing frightened." Ananda laughs out loud. "Wow. This is not the conversation I'd imagine we'd be having right now. I actually didn't think we'd be talking much at all..." 

"Yet, it is the conversation we need to be having. Somehow, the intimacy of being unclothed has made sharing the truth easier. And, yes... I find your nude body extraordinarily appealing." Khan grins. Ananda turns and closes the distance between them. She burrows into Khan, encouraging him to spoon her. Ananda enjoys the heat of Khan's skin pressed against hers as she lies wrapped in his arms. She finds the gentle heat from his breath on her neck comforting. She closes her eyes, twines their fingers together, and sighs contentedly. 

 

Just as the pair drift off peacefully, Ananda is stirred into full consciousness by the sound of her front door opening, and the sound of Be-Bop growling angrily. The cat hisses and scampers down the hall to Ananda's bedroom. Khan is jarred awake by the sound of footfalls in the hallway. When he sits up, he can't believe what he's seeing. Ananda is momentarily rendered speechless. 

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20Jan/CB0DE847-8722-4846-ABDC-810CCD727B03_zpskudezrsq.jpg.html)

"We had an appointment today, Commander Greydon. Since you weren't your customary fifteen minutes early, I decided to call on you here, at your lovely home. Hope you don't mind." Jack Ericsson fetches two bathrobes from Ananda's en suite, and shoves them at the couple. 

"Lovely as you both are, do get dressed." He huffs. "Please join me downstairs for a little chat. Don't keep me waiting." 

Ericsson turns to leave, closely followed by Be-Bop. The cat walking low to the floor and hissing her disapproval every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Cormalite
> 
> More notes later?
> 
> Sassiebone - hang in there for _Jack's Smirking Revenge_


	18. Theives In The Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack Ericsson approaches Ananda & Khan as he moves to separate them. Before he does, he places a hand on Ananda's belly and comments on her impending arrival.
> 
> "How lovely you look, Ananda. Glowing already?" Ericsson laughs evilly.  
> "Who do you suppose your little halfling will grow to resemble, eh? Hope it looks like us. Right, Johnny boy? Just call me Uncle Jack. Would you like that, Ananda?"
> 
> Ericsson circles around the augment pair, studying Khan intensely as he gives him a critical once over.

Khan and Ananda listen to the receding footfalls and turn to one another for reassurance and to formulate a plan. 

"Noonien? Admiral Ericsson... He has your face. Or do you have his? I'd never laid eyes on the man before. He'd always avoided being seen directly. What's about to happen when we go downstairs?" Ananda prattles a series of queries in rapid fire succession. Khan hears the sound of Ananda's voice, but is working from his own internal dialog. 

"Ananda, I must admit that I am entirely at a loss. We can only surmise that he believes he has reason to intrude upon you in this fashion, though this unscheduled visitation seems to be in furtherance of a personal agenda. Our best chance of coming through this is to volunteer nothing. If you are in fear of yourself or..." He places a hand over her middle and closes his eyes. Ananda leans in, kisses his eyelids and nuzzles his earlobe. 

"Noonien?"  
"Yes, my love?"  
"I've noticed something about Ericsson..."  
"What's that?"  
"He said he'd been waiting for me at his office, but he's not in uniform. This is not Starfleet business. He's come here of his own accord. We've yet to suss out why, but this can't be good for either of us."

Her observation rang true with Khan, and while he's glad that her observational skills aren't dulled by fear - the need to devise a plan of action takes on greater importance. He's so immersed in his own thoughts that his brain begins to ache. As if the synapses are conspiring to rend his mind into shreds. He winces and groans audibly. Ananda looks on him with concern and wonders aloud about his welfare.

"Noonien!? Wha... What's the matter?"  
"NOTHING! Nothing. Please, I... I'm fine, Ananda."  
"I'm looking at you, Noonien. No, you are not."

Ananda strokes Khan's face with the backs of her fingers and cards them through his hair. He pulls away from her and grabs both of her hands. He holds them together by her wrists.  
"Get dressed, Ananda. Now, please."  
"Noonien? You're scaring me."  
"Whatever happens next, please know this... I love you. For my life, I love you."

Khan kisses Ananda's hands then releases them, placing one of her hands over his heart and holding it there as he speaks to her. 

"We're alone now, so I'm saying these words to you. If I have to sacrifice myself to keep you from coming to harm I will." His tender words are spoken glacially, but his eyes display the true depth of his passion and concern. 

"I understand. I love you too, Noonien. Let's pull ourselves together, and walk downstairs together."

Ananda gazes at Khan intensely, and cups his face as she kisses him more passionately than she ever has. The kiss is searing. It crackles with heat and ferocity. Khan moans into the kiss, and gives himself over to the moment, but breaks away. 

"Please, Ananda... No more. When you touch me like that, I..."  
"Apologies, my beloved." She nuzzles his nose and leaves the bed to pick up her clothes and dress herself. 

Khan takes the opportunity to clear his head with a cold splash of water to the face. He drags himself over to the en suite and turns on the faucet. He cups his hands beneath the running water, props his elbows on the edge of the vanity and bends over the sink. He flings water at his face very aggressively, almost slapping himself in the process. Once again, Khan has a momentous and intense flash of pain inside has head. He steps back from the sink and looks up into the mirror.

  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/fanfic%20illustrations/03C1D691-270C-440C-8A36-96902F0DAFA5_zpsh0trwk4s.jpg.html)

The reflection staring back at him in the partially lit bathroom is not the face of John Harrison, but the man he was three hundred years before: Noonien Singh. He stares for an instant in the half light, then blinks the image away.

Khan crinkles the top of his nose and mutters,"What's happening to me?!

Not wanting to alarm Ananda further, he gathers his clothing, dresses quickly and trudges toward the threshold of Ananda's bedroom.  
As he nears the doorway, Ananda offers her hand, and he gladly accepts, lacing their fingers together.

They make their way gracefully down the staircase, side by side.

"Awww... Look at you two. Aren't you special?" snarks Jack Ericsson.

Khan bristles up and lurches forward, but Ananda squeezes his hand and pleads with him.

"NO! Noonien... don't. Please..."

Khan squeezes Ananda's hand until he feels certain that he'll not strike out at Ericsson.

"Sweet, sweet A-nan-da!" Ericsson laughs. "Come, have a seat, you two." Jack orders her to have a seat in her own home. Khan is seething with rage, and would like nothing better than to rip Ericsson's head away from his shoulders.

_How dare he?  
No Noonien, don't do it!_

_Ananda? You... You can hear me? I can hear you?  
Your thoughts are overwhelming me. Please, take a breath, my love. We'll get through this. _

_Ananda, how long have you been able to hear me?_  
_I realized just as we began descending the staircase. Perhaps our enhanced capabilities have triggered something within us due to our mutual discomfort?_  
_I'd never considered that our bond is now chemical in nature. Does that mean?... __  
_Yes. I think it means exactly that. ____

Khan circles a protective arm around Ananda's waist and draws her closer to him. They stand hip to hip, ready to face whatever happens next.

_If Ericsson lays a hand on you... I will end him._  
_Please still your thoughts, Noonien. Your anger is crowding out my ability to intuit. __  
_

Ericsson approaches the couple and moves to separate them. But first, he places a hand over Ananda's belly and comments on her impending arrival.  
"Oh look at the widdle mommy! How lovely. Glowing already? Who do you think your halfling will grow to resemble? Hope it looks like us. Eh, Johnny boy? It can call me Uncle Jack. Oh! How wonderful!?" Ericsson circles around the two, as he mocks them. He studies Khan from head to toe as he gives him a critical once over. 

"Pretty damned good for a cheap copy. Wouldn't you say, Ananda? Loses a bit in the translation, though. What. A. Shame. Ananda... fancy a go with the real deal, luv?"

He pulls her away from Khan by her free arm and forces her to sit on the sofa. Khan launches himself at the man and the two grapple on the floor.

"Noonien!" Ananda calls out.

She freezes for a moment, then moves toward the fracas. Uncertain how to proceed, she attempts to grab hold of Ericsson, but is thrown clear by the squabbling men.

She lists to her side, slightly dazed. When she looks up, Carol Marcus is staring down at her. Carol's eyes are dark. She's angry and half crazed.

"Carol, what are you..." Before she can finish her sentence, Carol stomps on Ananda's hipbone with the heel of her boot. Ananda feels a dull ache, but does not cry out.

"I'm here to reclaim what is rightfully MINE! My father created John for me. He was being groomed to succeed my father, take over Starfleet and eventually head the Federation. With _me_ by his side. His crass little arrangement may have loaned you my Johnny as some kind of... What? _Donor_? That arrangement will not stand. John is mine, and I'm not leaving until I get what I came here for. And if I have to take it by force, so be it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed from this song by Prince:
> 
> Thieves In The Temple  
> http://www.wat.tv/video/prince-thieves-in-the-temple-5w4vz_2hztv_.html


	19. Call My Name And Save Me From the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of a home invasion has the augment duo Khan & Ananda in peril:
> 
> Khan slowly drifts in and out of consciousness. He tries to lift his head, but a paralytic agent prevents a full range of motion.  
> Ananda cradles and rocks him. "Can you keep your eyes open for me? Please, Noonien...  
>  _I need you_...

In the aftermath of the home invasion by Carol Marcus, and Jack Ericsson, Ananda is clutching a dazed, half naked Khan in her arms. Carol Marcus stores stolen samples of Khan's blood and semen to be processed in furtherance of their grand scheme. Jack surveys the scene, quite pleased to have accomplished his goal for the day. 

Carol places her samples into a chilled, insulated attache case and steps over the augment duo as she proudly takes her leave. "Don't stop to gloat, arsehole. We've got what we need." 

"You won't be needin' this anymore, will ya Johnny?" Ericsson reaches down to snatch the tracking device from Khan's wrist as he makes his exit. But not before slathering on a bit more derision on his way out.  
"It's been a slice. You are too much fun!" He taunts. "Oh, what're you doing? Stop, pleeeze... STOP!" Ericsson laughs evilly as he mocks Ananda's heart rending cries.

He pauses mid-stride on the staircase for an admonishment. "By the by, do not attempt to grow a brain. If you come within five hundred feet of me, I'll know." He waves the tracking wristlet in the air. Seemingly out of nowhere, BeBop launches herself at the villain, growling and tearing at his pant leg. "You useless ball of fur." Ericsson howls. "Should have taken care of you first!" He kicks at the fierce feline, but she refuses to release him until she's ready to retract her claws. 

BeBop scampers over to Ananda and presents her paw for inspection. "Goood girl." Ananda strokes the top of her beloved feline's head with the backs of her fingers. She examines BeBop's paw, and notices bits of Ericsson's skin attached to her claws. She gently urges the cat to lie still and summons the computer.

Khan slowly drifts in and out of consciousness. He tries to lift his head, a paralytic agent is hampering his full range of motion.  
"Computer!"  
"Yes, Ananda..."  
"Encrypt the line, and contact Kay Sollodovsky. Priority URGENT!"  
"Working..." The line opens and Ananda hears beeping and clicking. After a few seconds, Kay is on the line.

"Kay!! I need you. Noonien was given a sedative, or paralytic of some kind. He's breathing normally, but drifting in and out. He seems to be aware of me but can't speak in sentences. Bring your tricorder, need you to take some samples. Please Kay, hurry!" Ananda sniffles through her request, but gets through without breaking into pieces.  
"I'll be right there, Nanda."  
"Please use your code to get in."  
"Okay. Heading for the door right now. Be there soon." Kay disconnects the call and makes tracks directly to Ananda's home. 

"Noonien? Hey! HEY!" Ananda squeezes Khan and cradles him. "C'mon... Keep your eyes OPEN! That. Is. An. _ORDER ___!"  
He looks up at her, half lidded. "Anan... Anan-da? So sorry. Didn't want to. Couldn't fend her off..."  
"No. No, you don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. Can you keep your eyes open for me? Please, Noonien... I need you." 

When Kay arrives, she enters her security code and rushes down the staircase to Ananda's side. She unpacks her equipment and begins her exam as she witnesses her friend rocking a haphazardly clothed Khan.

"Ananda! What's gone on here?" 

Ananda screws her eyes closed and tries to recount events of the day in as much detail as possible before breaking down. "There was a fight. And they stunned him several times before they whacked him up with some kind of sedative, or mild paralytic. And then... Then I was made to watch while she... Kay? I can't, right now. _It's too much __..."_

"Shhh-shhh... It's alright. Are you hurt? Did they?..."  
"No. They didn't. But I got a boot to the hip."  
"Let's have a look at you." Kay motions for Ananda to show her where she was injured.

There's no broken skin, but a very deep blue-purple contusion is forming. Thankfully, Ananda is also healing rapidly.

"Okay, here's where we are..." Kay begins. "In the short term, Khan is going to be fine. His regenerative powers are amazing. It's almost as if he's rebooting himself while we watch.

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2016%20-%20October/8099B4C8-E1F9-4F78-9716-97C3B3E0DAB6_zpsxpvz3a1c.jpg.html)

His vitals are stable, and the sedative is wearing off. That's the good news."

"Is there more?"  
"Unfortunately, we'll not know the psychological effects of surviving such an attack. That's your bailiwick." 

Ananda nods. 

"You'd like for me to take additional samples?" Kay thoughtfully confirms.  
"Yes. Can you please take a few scrapings from BeBop's paw? I'd like the results from a standard chem panel. Blood type, DNA sequencing, kinship analysis and corporeal typing."

"Kinship analysis, Ananda?" Kay wonders aloud.  
"I have a hunch about something, but need proof..."  
"Sure, whatever you need."

Kay summons Ananda's brave feline and holds her, cooing softly as she retrieves the requested samples. BeBop sits patiently, then flops to her side and presents her belly to Kay as she works. Once finished, she packs up the samples from the scrapings, and presents Ananda a memory chip with complete details of Khan's exam. The doctor hesitates, but shares an additional piece of information with her friend. 

"You might find this interesting..." Kay holds out a finger and displays an RFID chip, roughly the size of a grain of rice. 

"I found it beneath one of his pectoral muscles. This seems to have been the only one. Look... I know you aren't ready to divulge, but whoever did this must not know that we're friends, because a simple scan turned this up. I'm going to go now. Do you want to try to move him, or make him comfortable right here?"  
"I'm too exhausted to try to move him, even with your help. But thanks."

Kay absents herself briefly and returns with pillows and blankets. Ananda lifts Khan's head, and Kay slips a pillow beneath him. She wraps Ananda in a duvet, and gives further instructions.

"Please eat something, Nanda. You're eating for two, now." Ananda's eyes light up, then fill with tears. Kay hugs her and runs her hand soothingly up and down her back. Ananda lays her head on Kay's shoulder and sobs quietly.

"It's going to be alright. Maybe not in five minutes, or five days, but the rawness won't always be there. D'ya trust me?"  
"Yes." Ananda sniffles into Kay's neck.  
"Hang on to him, Nanda. Hang in there, and don't be too strong to ask for help. And while we're on that topic - I called Lydia. She's sending over a real security team for a total sweep of your property, and they'll discreetly post guards. We're all in this together. Not just for now, but _until ___... However long that is."  
"Thank you, Kay."  
"Remember what I've said. I'll be back to check on you tomorrow, sooner if you want or need." 

With that, Dr Sollodovsky quickly and silently gathers her equipment as she says goodbye. Kay feels satisfied that she is leaving Ananda and Khan in better stead than she found them and with security on the way, they'll get through the rest of the day together. 

Kay pulls herself to her feet, smoothes out her clothes and bends down to plant a kiss on top of Ananda's head. Ananda slides down to the floor and shares her duvet with Khan. She stretches out and wraps herself around him, circling an arm around his waist and nuzzling the nape of his neck with her nose. 

As she climbs the stairs on her way out, Kay turns for one more look at the duo. BeBop scampers up the stairs along side her as if she's escorting her to the door. The cat reaches the top of the stairs first, and Kay reaches out to pet her. "Such a good kitty. Smart girl. Yes you are! Who's a smart kitty?" Kay strokes BeBop behind her ears. The usually saucy feline leans into her touch, and purrs contentedly. 

_Ananda?_  
_Noonien?!_  
_Yes, I'm here..._  
_I'm so glad to hear you._  
_Kay was right..._  
_You heard us!_ She beams.

_I heard everything, my love. I heard you crying and pleading with Ericsson._  
_I heard you calling out to me. Your voice pulled me out of the haze of the sedative_

Ananda moves closer and holds Khan tighter than she ever has.

 _Please hold me, Ananda. I have so much I want to say to you._  
_Noonien, can you speak? Out loud, I mean?_  
_Not just yet. You must know that I feel as if I've failed you. When Ericsson touched you, I... I lost control. My need to confront him created a blind spot that gave Carol the exact scenario she was hoping for. My anger was our undoing._  
"At least now we know the face of our true adversaries. You were right all along Noonien. They had the advantage of hiding in plain sight until today. Best not to think about that just now. Hearing your thoughts makes me happy. I'd be happier still to hear your voice."

Khan grunts as he turns himself. When he's face to face with Ananda, he opens his eyes, and gazes at her sleepily. She tenderly grazes his cheek with the backs of her fingers, draws him into her bosom, and holds him there. She lifts his head and places a soft warm kiss on his furrowed brow.

"Noonien, there are no words for what we've just been through. _Promise me_... Promise that it won't tear us apart. Please..." She whispers her desperation in a soft smoky voice that goes straight to Khan's heart.

 _Never that. When this drug wears off, and I find my footing, I want to take a long hot shower with you_  
"I'd like that. We both need to scrub off the misery, and go forward from there."  
_I fully intend to reclaim you. Reclaim **us**. I need to hold you, Ananda. More than anything._

"I'd like that too. I want to feel you next me, to share breath with you. I just... I want everything to be okay between us..." Ananda's voice falters as she struggles to find words that fully express the depth of her care and concern for Khan.

"So it's decided. A short nap, a warm cleansing shower. Then, we'll realign our root energy. Slowly. Tenderly. For as long as it takes..."

The deep rumble of Khan's voice effects Ananda in ways that she cannot quantify. Khan's words thrum, as if their very sound have a sacred vibrational frequency in her soul. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from “Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence:
> 
> Wake me up inside  
> (I can't wake up)  
> Wake me up inside  
> (Save me)  
> Call my name and save me from the dark  
> (Wake me up)  
> Bid my blood to run  
> (I can't wake up)  
> Before I come undone  
> (Save me)  
> Save me from the nothing I've become...
> 
> Evanescence - Bring Me To Life  
> http://youtu.be/3YxaaGgTQYM
> 
> Pulled the phrase "Corporeal Typing" out of my arse after reading this:  
> http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Species_and_cultures
> 
> Not Beta'd. It's all me. Editing on the fly with fresh eyes after posting.


	20. Bend The Light Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan stirs himself awake, realizing that Ananda is no longer lying next to him.  
> He hears the shower running and makes a beeline for the bathroom, peeling off his clothes along the way. 
> 
> When he arrives at the bathroom doorway, he hesitates for moment before crossing the threshold...

Ananda awakens slowly to find the crush of Khan's full weight across her middle. The floor seems to be pushing up against her and is causing a bit of discomfort, but not enough to displace him. She feels perfectly content to have his sleeping form draped over her, like any other evening.

Except this evening is unlike any other - and not just in her brief history with Khan. But any evening, ever.

Ordinarily, she'd delight in watching over Khan as he sleeps. Cooing as his angular features soften. Enjoying his expressions and the occasional smile as he slumbers peacefully.  
This does not look to be a restorative sleep for Khan. His brow is furrowed, and he's vocalizing agressively. Though she soothes him through the grunting and deep growling by tenderly caressing him - he rolls away from her and curls into a ball. 

She takes the opportunity to move freely, but not before covering Khan with the duvet, and readjusting his pillows.

Deciding to make use of the calmness, Ananda decides to take a few moments to stretch. She begins by flattening herself, placing her feet together as she relaxes her hands.  
She puts both hands underneath her bum, palms down, and brings her elbows closer toward each other. After a cleansing breath, she lifts up her head and chest. With her chest elevated, Ananda bends her neck backward and touches the top of her head to the floor, affecting a perfectly imperfect Matsyasana pose.  
Ananda wants to clear her head, and tries valiantly to quell her growing anger and frustration. Unable to cleanse her thoughts of the day's events, she decides a shower is in order. She flattens herself again, looks over at Khan, and ghosts her fingers over his shoulders. 

Ananda pulls her knees to her chest, rocks herself to her feet, and gracefully glides down the hall. She makes for the bathroom to prepare for a long shower. She summons the computer to create a tranquil, unobtrusive ambiance.

"Computer?..."  
"Hello, Ananda."  
"Please activate shower settings for Mid-Atlantic seashore. Warm Spring rain. Dim the ambient lighting by 35%."  
"Accessing... Working... Request Complete... Would you like to add music, Ananda?"  
"Yes. Rodrigo, Concierto de Aranjuez. Adagio first, then shuffle."  
"Accessing Music Library... Cueing Playlist. Initiating ShufflePlay... Request Complete."  
"Thank you, Computer."  
"Would you like to save these settings, Ananda?"  
"No. Thank you computer."

Ananda shucks off her clothes and allows the garments pool at her feet as she steps into the shower. The warmth of the water is soothing, and the temperature of the ambient air is slightly cool, but not bracing. The randomness of small beads of water, mixed with large droplets feel like standing at the sea shore during a light, warm rain. She cups her hands and holds them toward a shower head to catch some water to splash onto her face. Ananda lifts her head and purses her lips to exhale while she enjoys the rhythmic patter of the water as it sluices over her skin. She closes her eyes, holds her hands palm side up and begins to chant softly. 

Khan stirs himself awake, and realizes that Ananda is no longer lying next to him. He hears the shower running and makes a beeline for the bathroom, peeling off his clothes along the way. When he arrives at the bathroom doorway, he hesitates before crossing the threshold. 

Though her back is turned away from the door, Ananda senses his eyes on her. Without turning to look, she encourages him to join her.

"Join me, Noonien. The water feels wonderful." she purrs.  
"Thank you, I'd like that very much."  
"Good. Rather have you next to me than lurking in the doorway like a shadow."

Khan takes the few steps needed, and slips into the shower behind Ananda. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She snuggles into him and lays her head on his shoulder while her fingertips drift lazily up and down his arms. Khan gently turns Ananda and the two stand gazing at each as the water cascades between them.

  


When Khan notices the bruise on Ananda's hip, he closes his eyes and turns his head away. His eyes fill with sadness because he's not ready to share his intense feelings about what has transpired. Ananda senses his reticence. She reaches out to touch Khan, but pulls away at the last second. She shakes her head, and casts her eyes down to the shower floor. 

"Ananda?" Khan queries.  
"I'm so sorry, Noonien. I just this moment realized that I don't know how to touch you right now. I don't know what you need from me." 

Khan lifts her chin with his fingers, cups her face in his hands, and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

"No apologies necessary, my love."  
"Are you sure?" She sniffles.  
"I need your warmth, Ananda. More than anything. It's been our saving grace. Don't shy away from it."

"Is this okay?" She slowly raises a hand and places it over his heart.  
He returns her gesture. Khan thoughtfully places his hand on top of hers and ghosts his fingertips over the back of her hand. He closes the distance between them and leans into her.

"May I kiss you?"  
"Yes, Noonien..."

Before she can finish her sentence, he sweeps Ananda into his arms and kisses her passionately. Slowly. And with great tenderness. Ananda wraps her arms around Khan's neck and allows herself to meld into him. Khan glides his fingertips down Ananda's back and grabs her bum. He hoists her up to his waist and she reflexively curls around him, crossing her ankles behind him. Khan kneads and rolls her firm derrière bouncing her slightly for good measure. Their kissing intensifies. They moan into each other's mouths. Nibbling and pecking with great abandon. 

 

Ananda closes her eyes. She breathes in tender sighs, and smiles sweetly into Khan's kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed from:  
> John Mayer - Clarity  
> http://youtu.be/ULrz-6CSmmM
> 
>  
> 
> Matsyasana = Fish Pose  
> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matsyasana
> 
> Wikipedia: Concierto de Aranjuez  
> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concierto_de_Aranjuez
> 
> JOAQUIN RODRIGO & JOHN WILLIAMS Concierto de Aranjuez (Adagio)  
> http://youtu.be/x4QrJc3VQDo
> 
> (Not Beta'd)


	21. Emancipation and Mental Slavery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan lies prone with Ananda draped around him as she sleeps. He draws her closer and kisses her forehead. She stirs a bit, and hums his name, but does not awaken.  
> He lightly strums her curves as he gives thought to how deeply she has become part of who is. Indeed, who he is becoming. 
> 
> It had not been their choice, but they have created a synergy of darkness and light. 
> 
> In all their machinations, surely neither Admiral Marcus, nor his daughter could have accounted for that.

Khan lies prone with Ananda draped around him, as if she's subconsciously claiming him. 

He wants so desperately to enjoy the warmth of her as she shifts her weight and her hands wander aimlessly over his exposed flesh. Ananda looks so peaceful and content as she lies sleeping.  
Khan closes his eyes as he tries to think only of the touch of this woman. Her smell. Her sweet slightly floral taste. The gentle giggles and soft groans from her pouty lips. 

He's trying valiantly to forget how violated he feels. No fault of Ananda's. He remembers her pleas to be more aware of their surroundings as they approached their chief nemesis - Jack Ericsson. But his anger swept away any logic and replaced it with blinding rage. In his many years of running and hiding and surviving, nothing as deeply humiliating had ever happened to him before. In this instance, he'd found himself in extremis by dint of his choleric temper, blindsided by his greatest pressure point - defence of those he cared for.  
And now Carol Marcus has his complete genetic blueprint at her disposal to manipulate as she pleases. She and Jack Ericsson also have direct access to his crew. Carol has been free to tamper with his crew since the deception that placed her on board the Enterprise while he was fighting off Clingons and eventually surrendering to Kirk on Qo'noS. Her primary objective seems to be causing a rift between him and Ananda. But what if that is only the beginning of her scheme? The two most likely scenarios trouble him deeply. But he doesn't want to give them any thought just now. 

Right now he wants his thoughts to stop racing. It's hard to calm himself, but if he allows it - Ananda's composure can diffuse his anger and self loathing. If he did, perhaps he'd not react to outside stimuli with such aggression. Ananda's cool reserve is in many ways as intense as his anger, but much less destructive. He's taken notice that she wields her serenity and intellect as if they were weapons. He chuckles as he remembers her doing exactly that upon their first meeting. The angrier he became, the more tranquil her deportment. And so it is between them. 

Though it had not been their choice, they are creating a synergy of darkness and light. In manner and thought.  
John Harrison would not have chosen this woman, but she - Ananda Greydon, is just what Noonien Singh needs to make him more. More humane. More cerebral. More real to himself.

Khan draws Ananda closer and kisses her forehead. She stirs a bit, and hums his name, but does not awaken.  
He lightly strums her curves as he gives thought to how deeply she has become part of who is, who he might become. This amazing woman who is journeying with him on the path back to his own humanity. Enhancing his militance by infusing subtlety and clear headed reason. Choosing a life of connectedness with him, rather than live her as a disembodied spirit bereft of options for a full life. An existence filled with longing and regret. Surely neither Admiral Marcus, nor his daughter could have accounted for that. 

Khan cards his pale slender fingers through his hair, and sighs deeply. He places an arm over his his head as he formulates a plan of action. Kindness and benevolence have their place. Surely he has those in reserve for Ananda. But Carol Marcus and Jack Ericsson must be made to pay. _Revenge_? _Ohhh_ , he will show them revenge.

He is determined take back what they've stolen from him. He has laid waste to strategists and schemers with far more gravitas than Marcus & Ericsson. The scheme hatched between these sniveling cowards will not go unpunished. Perhaps it is time to pay _them_ a visit?  
Humanity and decorum be damned. He is still the same man who has instilled terror in the hearts of Starfleet and fought off a horde of Clingons. 

After all is said and done, he is and will remain who he is. His name is _**KHAN! ******_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired by Bob Marley's "Redemption Song":
> 
> ♪Emancipate yourself from mental slavery♪  
> ♪None but ourselves can free our minds♪
> 
>  As ever, not Beta’d...
> 
> More notes later? ::shrugs::


	22. After Great Pain - A Formal Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After lying awake in utter frustration for what seems like hours, Khan slips quietly out of bed with Ananda.  
> He dresses hastily, heads out to the garden and scales the wall behind the koi pond. Landing quietly, he stealthily heads for a garage where a fully restored vintage motorbike is kept.
> 
> Khan is unsure what he'll do next. But the chill in the late night air, and the wind swirling about him steel his resolve to do something.
> 
> _Anything ___...

After lying awake in utter frustration for what seems like hours, Khan slips quietly out of bed with Ananda, grabs his clothes, and moves purposefully down the hall to her home office. 

After hastily dressing himself, he searches for her communicator and the RFID chip removed from him by Dr Kay. He finds the grain sized nubbin neatly contained in a small polycarbonate box. Khan removes it from its encasing by rolling it onto the desk. With barely the tip of one of his slender fingers, he mashes down on it and lifts it to have a closer look. He frowns and clenches his jaw as he stares at the tiny object, his mind a whirlwind of agitation and angst at the sight of it.  
He gathers his thoughts, and begins to formulate a plan. He has little time to enact his plan - as he intends to slip away while Ananda sleeps.

When he imprinted himself to Ananda's computer, he had a thorough look around her office, and recalls coming across a small but useful set of delicate computer repair tools. He opens a drawer containing a rolled up pouch, unfurls it, and proceeds to dismantle her communicator. He inserts the RFID chip, and sets about reassembling the device.  
Once reassembled, he sets about a scheme to reverse engineer the programming of the chip. Ericsson had intended the chip to enable him to keep tabs on Khan, but Khan decides to alter the algorithms to give him the information he needs - Jack Ericsson's current location.  
He works swiftly and silently, using keystrokes to communicate with Ananda's computer instead of audible commands.

While he works, BeBop appears and in typical feline fashion, paces between his feet in a figure eight. Khan reaches down as he works, attempting to remove the creature from beneath him, trying valiantly to quash her seemingly ill-timed bid for attention. But the creature will not be deterred. He reaches for the cat, and she deftly alludes capture at every swipe. Once he decides to ignore the momentary irritation, he finds that he has completed his task.  
Khan tests the newly repurposed communicator by adding a known vector and fanning out the signal. His choice is the campus of Starfleet HQ. He looks down at the small screen as he receives a ping. He narrows his eyes and grins wickedly. Khan finds an earpiece and places it carefully before removing all traces of his handiwork, and manually shutting down the computer.

As he leaves the office, BeBop is close on his heels. She runs a few steps ahead of him, causing him to nearly trip over her in his zeal to sneak away. She stops in her tracks, sashays directly up to him and rests her paws on his shin. He looks down at her, crinkles the top of his nose and mutters unintelligibly in a deep but barely audible voice. BeBop's sassy reply?  
" _Merrrr-ow_!"

Khan makes for the living room, as his intent is to slip out the sliding glass door, vault over the back wall of the garden and enter the garage. He feels a momentary pang, stops in his tracks and reverses direction. Before leaving, he decides to check in on Ananda, who is lying in deep slumber peacefully unaware of his recent machinations. He enters the bedroom, and approaches the bed unnoticed.  
BeBop hops onto the mattress and sidles up to Ananda. She places a paw on Ananda's shoulder, and looks directly into Khan's eyes. He understands what he's being shown, and shakes his head. The cat mews softly, and taps Ananda once more for emphasis. She patters over to the edge of the bed, sits defiantly on her haunches, and locks eyes with Khan. His eyes begin to moisten and he screws them shut. He breaths out a deep sigh, leans over his beloved and administers a gentle but firm pinch to her shoulder and neck with two fingers and a thumb. Her muscles go slack, and he checks her carotid pulse. She's uninjured, but in a much deeper sleep. Once sure that she's effectively subdued, but still breathing normally, he turns to leave. BeBop curls up on Khan's pillow and patiently sits vigil over Ananda. 

Khan heads out to the garden and scales the wall behind the koi pond. He lands quietly, and makes a beeline for the garage. Ananda's parents were automotive enthusiasts, and left her three vintage vehicles. She and her friend Kent lovingly if not successfully retrofitted a vintage Honda touring motorcycle. Khan fetches up a helmet and the startcard. He finds a set of coveralls, and pulls them on. He opens the garage and walks the vehicle onto the driveway. When he reaches the apron, he puts on the helmet, slides the communicator into a slot between the handlebars, and calibrates the heads up display on the windscreen. He inserts the start card and sets off to into the night to find Carol Marcus and Jack Ericsson. 

Khan is unsure what he'll do once he locates the duo, but the chill morning air, and the wind rushing through him steel his resolve to do something. _Anything __._

As he wends his way through the darkened streets of San Francisco, he can't help but take in the grandeur of the city as it whizzes past him. The tall sleek buildings remind him of snaking his way through the dark caverns and passages in desolate reaches of Qo'noS. Absent a plan, his mind is absolutely clear on one point - no one will ever separate him from his dignity without his permission. Jack Ericsson and Carol Marcus, least of all. 

He revels in the chill he feels seeping into his skin because it reminds him that revenge is a dish best served _cold_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After great pain, a formal feeling comes by Emily Dickinson
> 
> After great pain, a formal feeling comes –  
> The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –  
> The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’  
> And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?
> 
> The Feet, mechanical, go round –  
> A Wooden way  
> Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –  
> Regardless grown,  
> A Quartz contentment, like a stone –
> 
> This is the Hour of Lead –  
> Remembered, if outlived,  
> As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –  
> First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –
> 
> As usual, unBeta'd. So, will be editing on the fly.
> 
> More notes later?... ƸӜƷ
> 
> 5/11/15: Ananda's Motorbike -   
> [](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/83A64C7E-9F2A-4986-8926-6C436D55D452_zpslihtofyg.jpg.html)


	23. Hell for Leather: BikerKhan/You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long ridiculous day of meetings, new clients and endless paperwork. The only saving grace is a mercifully uneventful drive home. You crest the hill of your street, and notice a lithe rangy figure leaning against a dangerously sleek, jet black motorbike. 
> 
> "I'll be damned, what is KHAN doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a divergence from the main narrative, in that it is not part of the story. It was prompted by a few comments by EzmEmily:  
> “I'm thinking on the lines of you coming home and finding Khan in your house in full biker gear. And he wants to take you for a spin on his new baby....”  
> My reply?: “Perhaps it'd be better if he was in the driveway when I drove up? Cuz If I got home and found Khan in my house wearin' biker gear - he wouldn't be wearing it for long, that's fer sure...”  
> So EzmEmily, we will have our sticky toffee, and eat it too. And perhaps lick the spoon afterward. 
> 
> Sharing here first, then will post as a stand alone to complete its story arc - an evening in three parts. 
> 
> Hang in there Sassiebone, Angry Khan is out there looking for Marcus & Ericsson. Once he finds them, things are gonna get _real ___. Play “London Calling” from the STID soundtrack, and get ready.

It's been a long ridiculous day of meetings, new clients and endless paperwork. The only saving grace is a mercifully uneventful drive home. You crest the hill of your street, smile and breathe a sigh of relief as your cul de sac comes into view. The Spring foliage is coming in, it's relatively quiet, and dammit - you're glad to be home.

Just as you turn to approach your driveway, you notice a figure leaning against a beautiful jet black motorbike. "I'll be damned, what is KHAN doing here?" You muse to yourself as you stop your car and put it in park.  
"You're late!" He bellows as he checks his watch.  
"Were we supposed to..." You tilt your head, and worry your bottom lip a bit, concerned that you've forgotten that you had a date this evening.  
"No. Thought I'd show off my new bike, and surprise you with an evening out. But you're late. Usually you'd have been home by now. Long day, was it?"

You nod.

"No worries." He approaches you and you drink him in as he strides toward you. You'd never call the man adorable, what with his lean powerful form, wondrously angular features and those mysterious eyes of his. Though Khan has a slight case of helmet hair, he still manages to radiate a thoroughly unique alpha male vibe that drives you to distraction. This evening is no exception. He's clad in dark jeans, and a black mock-neck compression top that clings to his lithe willowy frame just so, and hugs his pecks incredibly well. Topped, of course with that leather jacket you love. His jeans are haphazardly stuffed into a nearly hideous pair of Alpinestar boots, but oh well... can't have everything.

"Get your jacket, you're coming with me" he insists.  
"Where are we going?"  
"A quick ride. Watch the sun set, then... Dinner? Unless you have other plans." He quirks a brow and steps into your personal space as he waits for your reply.  
"Sure, yeah" you shrug. "Okay, let me just, ummm..." You're absolutely flustered, and feel yourself blushing.  
"If you have better things to do, I can just go." He motions toward his bike.  
"No, not at all. I'm glad to see you, baby. Just a little surprised, is all" you simper. He grabs you by the hand and pulls you up the driveway until you're standing next to his bike.  
"Good. You might be needing this..."

He pops open the storage compartment on back of his bike, fetches up a beautiful magenta helmet with matching goggles, and presents both with a flourish. Your jaw drops as you cradle them. He smiles broadly, gently holding your chin in his hand as he kisses you. You melt into the kiss and your toes curl. At this point, you're ready for whatever the evening brings. Thank goodness today was Flashback Friday, because you're already dressed to ride. No need to waste time going inside to change.

Khan smiles down at you adoringly, helping you with your helmet by lifting the hair away from your neck. Helmet in place, he fastens the chinstrap, and lowers the goggles over your eyes. He reaches into his pocket for the keys and gleefully spins them around his slender fingers. He starts up the bike, giving the throttle a randy twist.  
"C'mon, then... Up you go!" He winks over his shoulder.

You use Khan's shoulders to steady yourself, throw your leg over, and settle onto the p-pad. When you nudge Khan to let him know that you're ready, he reaches into his jacket, and passes you a pair of gloves that perfectly match your helmet. Gloved up, you circle your arms around him, and away you go. The ride begins slowly, wending through the same rush hour traffic you'd been in moments before. Racing towards the outskirts of the city, the scenery whizzes past in a blur.

The purr of the motor, the steady thrumming of the bike beneath you and the feel of Khan's sturdy frame excite you, and you smile lustily as you dart somewhat aggressively in and out of traffic. One last intersection to go, and you're finally out of the city. The air cools as greenery spreads itself before you. But it's going by almost too fast to enjoy. Blink, and surely you'll miss it. You find yourselves slowing a bit, as you travel a two lane road leading up to a steep hill. As the bike climbs, you lean in closer, and you feel Khan's abs engage as he hunkers down and masterfully puts the bike through its paces with one last burst of speed.

The bike slows to a stop under a lovely shade tree with a nearby bench. Khan shuts off the motor, gets off the bike then lifts you from your seat and sets you gently, but firmly in front of him.You each remove helmet and gloves, and he runs his fingers through your hair. You take a step back, spin around and beam with pride as you admire his glorious new creation with a compliment. "Oh, Noonien... She's beautiful!"

He steps behind you, pulls you close and whispers "She certainly is..." softly in your ear, in a smooth baritone so yummy, you can almost taste it. Then sweetly plants a kiss atop your head. You wrap your arms around his and swoon, burrowing yourself into his embrace.

ooo~0~ooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Beta'd blah-blah-blah. Largely written late at night during a bout with a gnarly stomach thingy. The fever dreams were hellacious, but sparked some interesting ideas. (TMI?) 
> 
> Anyhoo, two more parts to come - the evening unfolds, and then back home for a nightcap. _Or, something like it. ___Won't be safe for work, that last bit.. ;~ >


	24. Beneath An Angry Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan is driving a motorbike through the darkened pre-dawn streets of San Francisco at breakneck speed as he angrily seeks his adversaries - Admiral Jack Ericsson and his lover, Carol Marcus.
> 
> After their home invasion and attack on Ananda & Khan, a bit of unfinished business demands Khan's immediate attention. What will he do if he finds them?

As Khan snakes his way through alleys and side streets on his way to the campus of Starfleet HQ, he's haunted by Ananda's voice.  
"Come back, Noonien. Come home to me..." 

Momentarily shaken by her presence inside his head. Khan hunkers down and presses forward. But finds he can't rid himself of her voice.  
Midway down the next block, he stops, turns around and heads back to her. He feels lighter, as if a weight has been lifted from his very soul. Yes, this is the right decision. Go back. Back to the comfort and warmth of Ananda's home. The place where he is beginning to rediscover his humanity. A place where...

Just then, a red dot flashes on Khan's heads up display. He's gotten a ping on Ananda's repurposed communicator. According to the reading, he is mere blocks away from Admiral Ericsson's current location. Where he's sure to find Carol Marcus in his company.  
Knowing he may never have this chance again, Khan re-dedicates himself to his original intent. He doesn't try to rationalize what he means to do. That his actions will rectify a wrong, or serve a larger purpose.Verily, there is no purpose other than satisfying his need inflict an epic amount pain. 

In this moment, it feels right.

Once he's drilled down on the exact location of the signal, he finds himself staring up at an imposing urban monolith.  


[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/CAE4F7CE-94D9-4623-9CB8-B8E6DF22F368_zpsudbwmjr2.jpg.html)

  


Khan shuts off the bike and walks it to the building's darkened service entrance. Once there, he hacks the keypad with a code that allows him access to the building and disables the security cameras. He continues to follow the locator inside to a bank of elevators but, opts for the stairs.  
Khan jogs up dozens of flights until he gets the strongest signal yet. He steps into the hallway and trots down to the Admiral's door.  
Not wanting to use the most obvious point of entry, he chooses to traverse the terrace at the end of the hall and enter through Ericsson's patio. Khan uses his reset code to enter. Were he not on a search and destroy mission, he might enjoy such a place. In a city almost completely bereft naturally occurring greenspaces, save the few curated by scientists, this terrace is indeed a luxury. Planters filled with lush exotic greenery, punctuated by three shade trees and an actual patch of grass for sunbathing. Comfortable furniture has been very deliberately placed to give the impression of having been casually strewn about.  
The single feature that captures his attention is the waterfall and koi pond. So eerily similar to Ananda's, that it nearly gives him chills. Khan remembers finding Ananda lying on the ground clutching the lifeless body of her beloved feline. The sight of her grieving so deeply, and the sound of her wailing so inconsolably made an indelible impact on Khan. For a short time, he actually thought she'd rather lie there by the koi pond and die than live without her animal companion.  
That memory... That day has become etched into Khan's brain. He was determined to make things right for Ananda, having decided her wellbeing was more important than lashing out in anger. On that day, his role in Ananda's life changed forever. Protector. Healer. Lover. His task was to set things right. And for a short time, he had done just that. Until a more officious intrusion by Marcus and Ericsson shattered their calm and struck at the heart of who he is.  
He might have been better able to weather the humiliation of being attacked had it not been for the memory of Ananda's tearful silence. Though she had endured physical pain, Ananda refused to give them the satisfaction of witnessing her fall apart.

Tonight the balance will be redressed.

Khan taps the device clamped to the shell of his ear and turns in the direction of the locator beacon.  
Having found his target, he moves quickly and full of purpose. When he finds the sliding glaas door to Ericsson's pied-à-terre, he chuckles to himself. So full of hubris was Jack Ericsson, that even after committing an horrendous act of brutality against someone, he'd carelessly leave an entry door ajar without a second thought. Such was the measure of Jack Ericsson. Arrogant unapologetic bastard that he is. But not for too much longer.

Khan is in full on stealth mode. He stands stock still as his eyes adjust to the darkness and surveys the Admiral's abode.

He reconnoiters the entire dwelling before happening upon just what he was looking for - the lab equipment storing his stolen biologicals and the theives themselves. Entwined almost sweetly in post coital bliss. Good for them. As it turns out, their last moments will have been spent pleasuring each other in celebration of their alleged victory over him and Ananda.  
He screws his eyes shut and clenches his hands into fists. Just this moment he has decided to rid the world of their repugnant presence. 

But first, there's at bit of unfinished business he must consider...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, but wanted to get back into the narrative. Not lacking for plot bunnies, just gotta connect the dots cogently. 
> 
> Not Beta'd, editing/revising on the fly.
> 
> In ch4 I used a painting by a friend of mine Kenneth J MacSween. Below is a link to his work. I think we'll get a look at more of it in the next chapter.
> 
> Paintings by Kenneth John MacSween  
> http://youtu.be/quTzoTgcTFw


	25. To Judge Another's Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan riffles through the makeshift portable lab before him, moving quickly as he enacts his plan for revenge.  
> He then pads over to the bed of Carol Marcus, and her lover - Jack Ericsson. Staring down at them as they peacefully slumber.  
> He hadn't realised until just this moment how much he truly hates them.
> 
> Carol Marcus stirs, and mumbles sleepily. "John, what're you doing here?..."

Khan riffles through the makeshift portable lab in Ericsson's bedroom, and fetches up his stolen biologicals. Then begins processing a quick field test. 

He moves swiftly, nearly silently; as he enacts his plan. He pads over to to the bed and looks down at the sleeping figures of Carol Marcus, and her lover, Jack Ericsson.

He hadn't realised until just this moment how much he truly hates them.

Not solely because they are both worthy of contempt. But because they are cowards. Losing to a fellow warrior in battle is a fair fight, be the battle physical or intellectual. Respect can and often does exist between even the fiercest adversaries. But to Khan, home is sacrosanct. Marcus and Ericsson gleefully violated Ananda's home.  
And here they lie. Sleeping peacefully entwined.

Frankly, Khan wouldn't have it any other way. They deserve to be dispatched swiftly and mercilessly. As he stares down at them, he can almost imagine their carnal victory dance. Pleasuring each other while Ananda sat helpless, cradling him like a baby. Unable to move, or speak but fully aware of her pleading with him to come back from the dark, and hold on as help arrived. Khan narrows his eyes, and his angular features become menacing in the half light. 

He takes in Ericsson's lithe slumbering frame and remembers him taunting Ananda with offers of "having a go" with the original instead of the copy. Khan peels back the bedclothes covering Ericsson, administering an injection to his popliteal vein. The lab equipment nears the end of its processing, and begins to chirp softly. Khan starts over to the lab bench to check on his tests, when Carol Marcus stirs.

"John?" she mumbles sleepily. "John, what're you doing here?"

Khan freezes in his tracks, and turns to address her. Before Carol can rouse herself, he's standing at her bedside, glaring down at her, eyes darkened by pure hatred.  


  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20June/11DB093E-7025-4E28-A455-89070E7524F8_zpsygg5fptk.jpg.html)

  
"Lieutenant Marcus, I've come to reclaim what you've stolen from me."  
"You're here to kill me, aren't you?"  
"Oh, Carol. I killed you ten minutes ago." His voice is soft, but deep. And it pierced Carol like a knife.  
"Why, John? I... All I wanted was to be with you. As father intended."  
"Ah, but he did have a change of heart. Did he not? He picked a more suitable candidate to fulfill his hegemonic scheme."  
"But why Ananda Greydon? It makes no sense." Carol huffs.  
"Because... She. Is. _Better_." Khan's retort.  
"At what?"  
" _Everything_." He rumbled, jaw clenched.  
"Your father decided to create progenitors for a new generation of augments. He required a woman with an intellect equal to my own, but whose disposition would stabilize my temperament. My DNA profile having been altered, Ananda also brings diversity into play. Something he ultimately found you unsuitable to help him achieve."

Khan paces back and forth as he explains Admiral Marcus' plan to Carol. Who seemed unwilling to grasp what she's being told. So, he changes in the subject.

"In your limited time remaining, you might care to answer some questions for me Carol."  
"What else could you possibly want from me?!"  
"The truth. You boarded the Enterprise under false pretense. What was your true purpose?  
Carol's chin quivers, and tears are streaming down her face, but her bid at emotional manipulation falls woefully short on this occasion.  
Once again, she has underestimated the sheer gravity of her actions, and the consequences she has wrought.

"You were there to tamper with my crew? Perhaps corrupt their warp core, as well?"  
"Yes."

Khan presses his lips together, and furrows his brow. He closes his eyes and drops his lip to speak, then thinks better of it. He's gotten the answers he needs. Now intends to wend his way back to Ananda's house. Home. To get back home.  
Having left Ananda in slumber, Khan wants desperately to return to her before she awakens. Time is running short to achieve that goal.  
Just as Khan turns on his heel, Carol calls out to him.  
"John, please... Wait!" 

He stops for a beat to allow her to speak, refusing to turn and look at her. 

"John... Is it too late to apoligise?"  
"No, Carol. It's never too late." He glances over his shoulder before adding "But, I've not come here for an apology. And were I to be honest, none would be accepted. Neither of us can undo the past. What's done is done."

Since he'll no longer have need of it, Khan took the opportunity to remove Jack Ericsson's Starfleet signet ring. He secured his biologicals, test results, and takes his leave. Vanishing into the night as swiftly as he appeared. Satisfied that recompense has been taken.

 

Carol reached out to Jack Ericsson, finding him limp and slack jawed. Not an unusual occurrence, but also discovers his skin cold to the touch.  
She pounded on Ericsson with her fists, then shook him violently. Wailing and sobbing uncontrollably. Begging him to wake up. 

To no avail.

Carol began to feel increasingly light headed.Then, her vision blurred and fades slowly to black.

She collapsed atop Ericsson. Their final embrace a pile of unmoving of limbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed fr "A Thousand Years" by Sting:
> 
> I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times  
> Reborn as fortune's child to judge another's crimes  
> Or wear this pilgrim's cloak, or be a common thief  
> I've kept this single faith, I have but one belief  
> I still love you  
> I still want you
> 
>  
> 
> Shout-out to: ModestyBlaise, aureusleo, Sassiebone, Kimiko900, EzmEmily, Lionessinthedark, and Featherbelle.  
> Thanks for bookmarking my fic, and putting up with my spotty updates.
> 
> Not Beta'd. Editing/Revising on the fly.

**Author's Note:**

> Events occur between Star Dates 2259.59 (February 28th 2259) and before Khan’s trial by Starfleet 2259.246 (September 3rd, 2259) [Ref:IDW “Khan” graphic novels]  
> Commander Greydon is assigned to debrief Khan after the Daystrom Conference Room attack, and Kelvin Archive bombing. She believes she her work to be an impartial finding of fact, and has no bias toward or against her subject. Unfortunately, her presence serves a larger purpose that unfolds in the wake of her research at Memory Alpha.
> 
> ✨SPOILERS✨ The Betazoid is also an augment, unknowingly enhanced by Admiral Marcus in an attempt to balance the choleric temperament of his primary first gen augment, Khan Noonien Singh. 
> 
> Completely head-canon. 
> 
> Title borrowed from a qoute by John Updike:  
>  _“Suddenly summoned to witness something great and horrendous, we keep fighting not to reduce it to our own smallness.”_
> 
>    
> During their initial interaction, Commander Greydon is outfitted in a form fitting blue Starfleet catsuit with wrist length sleeves adorned with two thick silver stripes, covered in a flowing sari of various shades of blue, flecked with gold.
> 
>  


End file.
